Sunday, January 8, 2012

One Down, 51 To Go.

There is something to be said about setting short term goals, that is if you don't go overboard. Its officially been one week into 2012 and I don't have much to worry, complain or fret about. That's a good thing.

Though I do have to say it is hard to ignore that small, yet consistent, voice in the back of mind that reminds me that I'm kind of lonely. Okay, I have been able to make some friends and we are consistent with keeping track of another and going places and make fools out of ourselves. That's great and I am more than thankful for it. I have also taken the initiative to take personal adventures and get involved with a few groups to be more active and about. I'm proud of myself for that.

Its not as if I am being stagnate and keeping to myself. Having fun and being social is key and I understand it is something I need to continually work on.

With that, deep down, I have the small feeling of being alone and maybe a bit lost. I truly don't feel that I am, but I think this goes back to being in a relationship for the better part of four years then suddenly not being in one. I think I miss it or is it that I just miss her? Hmm, I'm not exactly sure. Its annoying that I haven't been able to shake that constant ringing in the back of my mind. I can subdue it now and then, I just can't get it to go away.

I think you will always miss something, or some things, about someone you spend so much time around and work with to maintain a relationship. Even if that relationship goes sour, both parties will always have things that remind them of the good times or something unique about that person. I have those now and they make me smile. Then again, they remind me that its just me right now. I'm not sure I like that as I'm not used to it.

I don't think about this constantly, but it does creep more times than I would like it to. Time, you just need time - I have been told this probably a thousand times in the past eight to nine months. I'm sure this is true, but my personal thought is that it HAS been awhile. Why is it still nagging me?

By no means am I bending over backwards to get into another relationship as I want to be sure I am start a new and not trying to get back what once was. Though I think it would be more than welcomed if the right person crossed my path or I cross hers.

Time, what a quirky thing you are.

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