Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I'm working on my sixth month as a resident of the great Rubber City known as Akron, Ohio and for as many times as I have moved I must say this is the weirdest venture up to this point. The most recent fun took place earlier this month.

On this weekend my girlfriend Christine (who lives in Columbus) was visiting. We had enjoyed a good day weather wise outside and had returned to eat and hangout. As she kicks off her shoes and settles on my bulky, yet comfy, couch I open the fridge to contemplate that afternoon's dinner. Within minutes the sound of sirens, police sirens, are blaring. No real big deal...you hear them all the time as the area surrounding my neighborhood isn't exactly Camelot.

I halfway ignore them, but then Christine indicates they seem to be getting closer. I too take notice and at that point the screeching of tires is coming from my street....the one right outside my first floor apartment. Christine says, "Hey I think somebody is being chased?!" I run to my front door just in time to see this dark red, rusty pickup barrelling down my street. The driver (who looks like he hit puberty just the day before) is driving with one hand on the wheel with the other lazily hanging out the window. His passenger, who is apparently none to happy about playing The Dukes of Hazzard, is hanging out the window from the waist up and his waving his hands in his best "Please don't shoot me!" imitation.

The Dukes of Hazzard: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dukes_of_Hazzard

They slow down and they decide to turn at the next left. Bad move there gangsta boys! That left is the driveway to the parking lot of my complex and Mario Andretti's getaway attempt took him around the backside my building & right back onto the street from which they came. Even more amusing was that the pair of Akron Police Cruisers chasing them down did the exact same thing. I nearly started looking to see if Wile E. Coyote and the Road Rrunner were going to join in.

Mario Andretti: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario_Andretti

Wile E. Coyote & Road Runner: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wile_E._Coyote_and_Road_Runner

As the delinquents shoot back onto the roadway ahead of them are four more APD cruisers, two Summit County Sheriff's Deputies and a paddy wagon. Apparently the "shortcut" gave the guys in blue enough time to make some headway. Though from the looks of the getaway truck it would have disintegrated once it hit 65 miles an hour.

Tweedledum and dumber have nowhere to go as the road is littered with armed officers. Their snappy, quick-decision answer to remedy the situation? Bail out of the truck as it continues moving. The doors fling open and both jump to what they hope is freedom. As the truck hits the curb and rolls into the yard of another apartment complex the driver is able to land on his feet and sprints down a flight of steps and disappears behind a building with a small police battalion giving chase. His passenger hits the ground, but knows better. He stands still with his hands in the air.

The unhappy officers tell him to lay flat, face first, on the ground with a few F-words inserted in their request. That's when one of the ticked-off pursuers digs is knee into the culprits spine and puts cuffs on him. Shortly there after boy genius returns in cuffs with an entourage of winded officers and deputies. He looks sick, almost as if he had drugs of some sort and to get rid of them he decide to swallow it all. The squad shows up and 20 to 30 minutes later all is back to normal.

The best part was that Christine and I sat and watched from the front door of my apartment like our own episode of "COPS". Before we decided to head in my neighbor, an older woman who was also gawking, says to us, "Can you believe that?" We agreed and was just about indicate those two punks probably need to be institutionalized. Just then my neighbor went to say something to the fact, "Those poor boys...those officers didn't need to be so rough with them or use that foul language. That's police brutality."

What!?!! These punks had just took police on a chase along residential streets at 60 miles an hour with no regard for their surroundings or others who were on the road. They even shot through an apartment complex parking lot like it was part of race course! And I'm sure they were being chase for taking part in some really good illegal activity. My neighbor moved on and Christine & I looked at each other like we had entered bizarro world and just met their leader.

The rest of the weekend went on without anymore police chases and I'm sure the teenage criminals are now spending their holidays either in straitjackets or among the best of Akron's locked-up gang population. I hope it was worth it. Goodluck explaining that on your resume in the coming years future Whopper floppers.

Akron and Summit County isn't short of fun times. Ohio's disgraced former Attorney General Marc Dann (sexual harassment of interns and cheating on his wife with one of them)...yep he's from this area...and just this week 42nd House District Representative John Widowfield of Cuyahoga Falls (in Summit County) resigned after it was discovered he used campaign contributions to buy Ohio State Football season tickets (over $3,000 worth) and sold them on EBay...for a higher price!! Scalping tickets bought with campaign contributions and pocketing the profit...that's working for the people man!

Marc Dann: http://www.akronnewsnow.com/news/itemdetail.asp?ID=19977&section=news&subsection=politicsnews

John Widowfield: http://www.akronnewsnow.com/news/itemdetail.asp?ID=20524&section=news&subsection=politicsnews

Six months down in Akron and the fun has just begun. Wow, I think some heavy drinking is in my future.

Humbled At The Hall

Being a sports fan along with working in the media you sometimes come across assignments where you find it hard to avoid the sports fan mindset and be a professional member of the media at the same time.

For instance one of the incentives of working at WHBC in Canton was the fact that our station had all access to the Pro Football Hall of Fame ceremonies, festival and inductees. Most people only see the annual ceremony on ESPN at Canton's Fawcett Stadium. What they may not realize is that there are weeks of related programs & such in and around the city leading up to the big day. This includes the ribs and music festival, Hall of Fame Queen Pageant and a huge parade with many of the past & current inductees. The ribs burn-off is outstanding. The aroma of BBQ coming from the Stark County Fairgrounds - deep in the heart of Canton - for those four days could wake the dead.

Pro Football Hall of Fame Festival: http://www.profootballhoffestival.com/

During the parade, of which WHBC ran live on the radio with commentary, I had the job of getting interviews from the members of the hall of fame as they waited to enter. I would get the interviews on tape and head back to the station to pull soundbites which would be played over the air once that member's float was announced on the air. Not a bad gig at all.

Pro Football Hall of Fame: http://www.profootballhof.com/

The best part was the inductee breakfast which took place the Saturday morning just prior to the parade. There our station was the only local media outlet allowed inside to interview, at length, the hall of famers on hand. I only worked in Canton for a little over two years, but I had the opportunity to interview the likes of John Elway, Steve Young, Dan Marino, Gale Sayers (very stoic), Tommy McDonald (hilarious), Mike Ditka, Anthony Munoz (His hands are the size of my car!) and Barry Sanders among others.

My first interview was with Mr. Sanders. Following the chat I walked to an unoccupied area of the breakfast hall and called my brother (waking him up at 7am) and whispering, "I just interviewed Barry Sanders!" I had to repeat it twice - each time whispering just a little bit louder - in order for him to understand what I was saying and avoid being detected by those around me. Trying to hide my enthusiasm and being professional at the same time was tough.

As much fun & memorable those times were I did not come away unscathed. One episode will live in my closet, along with the other skeletons, till the end of time. My first year in the Hall of Fame City (2004) during that breakfast I'm tracking down all the hall of famers I could. Some, if you didn't recognize them off the bat, wore name tags. You knew the names, but sometimes people look different in person than they do on television. Those name tags allowed me to recollect as to who they were - especially for those of us who are football fans. Some of them did not wear identification, but no worries I shouldn't have a problem. Luckily there were some who had physical features that made it obvious who they were. This is not a 100% accurate way of identifying someone, but I was confident in what my mind was telling me.

As members of the hall file through I'm a bit starry-eyed though still focusing on my task. Most of them were courteous and happy to assist by giving a short interview or comment. A few weren't exactly cordial, but this is a very busy weekend and they had a lot on their plate. I understood. Suddenly I see Dan Dierdorf come in. A hall of famer, tv football analyst & Canton native - this was a must have for my personal resume.

His physical stature (he's a big guy) and mustache were hard to miss. As Mr. Dierdorf comes in he is greeted by hall of fame employees and others and I'm standing in the distance to avoid being a bother - this weekend was about the hall of famers. I didn't want to make it about me or the media. I casually raise my hand and attempt to grab his attention by calling, "Mr. Dierdorf?!" He's busy shaking hands and I don't believe he heard me. So moments later I again I callout, "Mr. Dierdorf?!" Again my request seems to fall on deaf ears. Its obvious what I'm after so it isn't anything he hasn't seen before. I have a recorder, a microphone complete with my radio station's mic flag and I'm wearing my station's bright red polo shirt with the logo & call letters printed on it. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out.

I wait another couple of minutes and one last time I, with a big smile, call out, "Mr. Dierdorf?!" Finally - I've grabbed his attention. I prepare myself to sound like a professional member of the media as the mustachioed figured steps toward me. He shakes my hand rather briskly, leans in with this eery sarcastic smile and says, "HI, I'M TOM MACK. IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU!" His rather unnerved demeanor was topped off with his purposeful mouthing of each word as if I were six years old, not very bright and learning English from one of the characters on Sesame Street. Imagine my horror realizing I wasn't being ignored - I was calling him by the WRONG name!!

Wholly crap! Not only had I mistaken Hall of Fame Offensive Lineman Tom Mack for, ironically, Hall of Fame Offensive Lineman Dan Dierdorf, I continued to do so for several minutes in front of several hall of famers, employees and officials. After struggling to swallow my pea-sized pride I tried to take solace in the fact I had at least mistaken him for another member of the hall and not jimbo the drunken parade float driver.

As he turns away I stand in place stunned, embarrassed and at a loss for words. Only a handful of people had actually witnessed the train wreck and they were doing exactly what I would have been doing - laughing & trying to hide their faces as to avoid being pummeled by the pissed off former NFL star.

If you look at their pictures those two look very similar. No they aren't twins by any means, but its pretty damn close. They have the same build, the same mustache, both were offensive lineman, played against each other and both played for teams that were either in or had been in St. Louis. It was an honest mistake, right?! Either way I was definitely put in my place.

Take a look for yourself...they look alike!

Tom Mack: http://www.profootballhof.com/hof/member.jsp?player_id=137

Dan Dierdorf: http://www.profootballhof.com/hof/member.jsp?player_id=56

For the rest of the morning I sit back and only make feeble attempts to ask for interviews from those who have name tags or I overhear someone call them by name. That way I wouldn't give my career another black eye. I was lucky that the news of my screw up didn't travel and until now have I been able to publicly talk about it. I can hear sports fans worldwide gasping in shock this very second. My membership will be revoked soon, I'm sure. I can see soccer fans taking pitty on me as they too wonder when they will be allowed to return to the land of sportsdom.

I did get to do some pretty cool things in Canton, including covering all of the 2004 presidential election events as the Hall of Fame City was the national spotlight. Other opportunities included watching a live episode of CNN's Paul Zahn Now from the Stark County Courthouse and interviewing the Canton native afterwards, as well was interviews with Ben Stein, Christine Todd Whitman, Anderson Cooper and a number of others.

Paula Zahn: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paula_Zahn

Ben Stein: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Stein

Anderson Cooper: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anderson_Cooper

Christine Todd Whitman: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_Todd_Whitman

I was told this business has its pitfalls and every now & then we all trip over one; you just have to make sure to fall into those that aren't that deep. You see potholes are stumbling blocks and you can recover quickly. Craters are career enders - and I hear Tom Mack resides in one of them, ;)

Lights! Camera! Brain Damaged!

If I were to go back in time and take all of the other forks in the road I think acting would have been a successful venture. Not that I really had aspirations of singing & dancing my way onto broadway, that's not my thing. But I think I would have been a helluva character actor or a standout as the oddball in those sidekick-ish parts of films & such. I don't have any real evidence to back that statement, but I have more room to talk than you may think.

Morehead State University 

I believe my penchant for being a doofus evolved in college. Some people experimented with drugs & alcohol or an alternative lifestyle - I experimented with how many ways I could freak people out or get them to believe whatever ruse I came up with. I can't say everything came from me and me alone; I had some help from various roommates, teammates and others who had nothing better to do.

Some of our projects included:

1. Conjuring up a fake "press release" inviting students to practice with the Morehead State basketball team and then-Coach Dick Fick (God rest his soul) complete with a free t-shirt for all those taking part. My roommate Kevin was a computer drafting major who aided in the press release construction. Apparently the fiery Coach Fick was none to happy when about fifty students showed up wanting to test their skills against the MSU Eagles.

Coack Dick Fick: http://nabc.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/spec-rel/043003aac.html

2. Figuring a quick way to short out electricity in dorm rooms especially those belonging to neighbors who didn't appreciate our stupidity. This was done late at night after they had gone to bed to make sure alarm clocks did not go off when expected.

3. Spending the better part of a summer session in an upscale apartment-style dorm by going along with the university's assumption that I was someone else. I never lied, per say; I just did not correct a mistake. Morehead eventually figured it out - but not until after I had spent 2 1/2 months of a three month summer session in student luxury. Getting things lost in the shuffle was something the university did often....usually with my paperwork, tuition and fees. So, an eye for an eye...right?

The one I'm most proud of put my amateur acting skills at the forefront. Starting in high school I used to, during cross country practice, pretend to run into road signs we passed everyday. It didn't take much to slap the sign, throw my head back & fake severe pain. This led to embarrassing friends in public with swinging doors, light poles along sidewalks and steel beams that crossed my path.

I was surprised to discover that when my college cross country career began that my new teammates had already been doing the sign trick, but with one exception. They only slapped the sign and acted out a half-assed scene as if they were hurt. That, in my book, was a disgrace to the stupidity! My three-year-old niece did a better job of trying to hunt the zombies from Scooby-Doo behind the living room sofa than they did faking an injury caused by a stationary road sign. This needed to be improved and I was all too happy to oblige.

Scooby-Doo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scooby-Doo

We needed to garner attention & act as a team. With what had to be done already in my head, my teammates from Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky & various non-U.S. locations were only asked to play the straight men and display concern when the episode took place. The guys were impressed with the first few practice attempts. I developed this technique of slapping the sign, throwing my head back and tossing myself to the ground. I gave myself countless bruises, scrapes and scratches but those were the casualties of attaining the glory of shocking students, professors and the administration. The guys did a great job of "coming to my aid" almost as if they, too, had a desire to make a name for themselves.

The real test came my sophomore year in October of 1995 around Halloween. During a trip to Wal-Mart a few days earlier (entertainment was hard to come by in this small town) I came across fake blood capsules just before being asked to leave the facility by a store clerk. We had spent about two hours in the costume section trying on everything, chasing each other around and upsetting a few customers. I was able to purchase the fake blood as we were escorted out by the friendly security guard. The capsules, once broken, gave off a wonderful strawberry aroma - but tasted like drywall. So a coroner could have easily mistaken the liquid for blood upon first look if he or she had no sense of smell or were techically trained by zoo animals. These were ideal...as long as you could keep yourself from gagging.

Classes changed right around 4pm which was about the same time practice started. We usually followed University Boulevard and crossed the center of campus at the main intersection which included the student center, the president's house, the library and several other buildings. This meant at 4pm we would have a huge unsuspecting audience. I made it a point to wear an old white shirt to make sure the fake blood would be highlighted for all to see.

Once we arrived at the locker room we spent ten to fifteen minutes stretching then headed out to begin our eight mile run. Before I joined them I stopped by my locker and popped a couple of capsules in my mouth. They could easily be broken by biting down on them and could be held in the corners of your cheeks until deployment.

Approaching our target my giddy teammates move into position: a few behind me, a few in front of me and a few next to me. I could see them holding back laughter, but we were an everyday sight on campus so our audience would not be surprised at our presence. Only a few feet from my stop sign I slide the capsules from my cheeks to in between my teeth with my tongue and just like that, going at full speed, I slap the sign...throw my head back...bite into the capsules...and hit the ground rolling. My mouth is flooded with the disgusting red liquid and as my momentum comes to a stop I spit out a little "blood" onto the ground. I grab my shirt and smear the liquid around my face. Getting up in an intoxicated, woozy sort of fashion my teammates come to a dead stop and rush over to me while faking Oscar winning concern complete with words of astonishment.

The Oscars: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academy_Award

Immediately the crowd of students and faculty are stunned. Some stop and stare in disbelief while others continue walking but have a puzzled look as if what they saw had yet to register. As rumblings of concern come from those in shock - a campus public safety official, who just happened to be in his car at the intersection at just the right time, gets out and asks if assistance is needed. I shrug him of like I'm unaware of my surroundings and tell him I must continue running to keep from upsetting my coach. I, covered in a mysterious jelly donut filling-like substance, shake of my "injuries" and continue running with my partners in crime. A look back shows a crowd of confused MSU students and the like. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! My teammates and I laughed & discussed our perfectly executed plan throughout the run. We even talked about what we could do next - the possibilities were endless!

But word travels fast deep in the heart of the Daniel Boone National Forest.

Once we finished practice we headed back to our respective dorm rooms. Kevin, my roommate/teammate/collaborator, notices a message on our voicemail and checks it out. As I relax and contemplate dragging my fake blood stained self to the shower to get rid of the fruit salad aroma wafting from my person - Kevin laughs, turns to me and says, "I think this message is for you." Curious, I play it back...its Coach Lindsey. With amusement in his voice he tells me he has received a call from a university. This gentlemen goes on to tell him that MSU President Ron Eaglin's wife saw my stop sign stunt that afternoon from her home (their front steps lead straight to that sign...not far from the front door). She attempted to rush from the upstairs portion of her home to the street in order to offer her assistance, but I was already gone by the time she arrived. Mrs. Eaglin, thinking I was seriously injured, goes on to tell emergency officials it is possible I may be brain damaged (Yeah! She said that!!) and is urging university police & public safety to search for me. They did so and had been searching for about two hours!! I'm thinking...I'VE OUTDONE MYSELF! And when will the academy be calling with my invitation to this year's awards ceremony!

Brain Damaged: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_damage

Just before I begin conjuring up my acceptance speech, Coach Lindsey congratulates my accomplishment and says he is leaving it up to me to call Mrs. Eaglin and apologize for scaring her & hitting her stop sign! What? When did she become the Kentucky Department of Transportation Superintendent and purchase a road sign? I was a little peeved, but still basking in the glow of a perfectly executed plan...I really didn't care. I had conquered.

A few hours later, letting the situation stew a little bit longer, I made some calls and retrieved Mrs. Eaglin's unlisted phone number. I gave her a less than enthusiastic apology. She was understanding & even got a chuckle out of my explanation. Actually, I think she could tell I was doing all I could to keep from laughing in her ear. It was obvious I was smiling.

Over the next few weeks I would get looks from fellow students on campus who thought they knew who I was, but couldn't place me. Even a few professors got a kick out of the stunt. Some theater friends vaguely suggested I change my major and join them. They laughed, but I think they were just jealous that I had just put them in their place with nary an acting class to my name.

Months later, at our sports banquet, coach told the story to the entire athletic department & all of MSU's student athletes. He had me stand up and President Eaglin jokingly said he was going to keep an eye on me. I think coach thought that would embarrass me, but I was even more proud that I was getting such recognition - though I was still being ignored by Hollywood...damn those elitists!!

Morehead State Athletics: http://www.msueagles.com/

I eventually graduated to being an adult...for the most part. But that Halloween stop sign collision is as fresh in my mind today as it was thirteen years ago. I still think I would have been a heck of an actor if I would have taken that road, but I'm happy with the path I took. And as the story goes: If you can go to a mirror & look at yourself straight in the eye and call that person a success - you've won the battle.

I haven't heard any complaints thus far, but there is still plenty of time to find me.

Jed Clampett Becomes A Hoosier

Becoming a close personal friend & business associate of moving companies should never be among one's career goals, unless you actually own a moving company.

During these rough economic times most moving companies have me to thank for keeping them afloat. U-Haul, Ryder, Penske and the like have a file with my name on it. Unfortunately for them I have been mistaken for an entrepreneur or their own personal slush fund. The real reason for my repeat business is due to relationships, employment and an apparent penchant for driving big yellow (or orange), commercial vehicles cross country that scream, "Look who's Moving Now!" These remind you of when children point out the neat wildlife at the zoo to their parents. Instead they are pointing you out from the backseat of their parents' cars as they pass along America's interstate highways.

To date (May 2008) my moves include, since college: From Morehead, Kentucky to Richmond Dale, Ohio (my hometown); Richmond Dale to Grayson, Kentucky; Grayson to Evansville, Indiana; Evansville to Columbus, Ohio; Columbus to Morehead; Morehead to Murray, Kentucky; Murray to Dallas, Texas; Dallas to Newark, Ohio; Newark to Canton, Ohio; Canton to Akron, Ohio. You would also have to thrown in the moves to different apartments in Evansville and Canton. If my math is right that's fourteen moves. My stat line is pretty impressive: 10 years, 14 moves, 4 states and more than 2,000 miles. I think that makes me an all star!

Among these moves includes a 26 1/2 hour, non-stop drive from Dallas to Columbus with my brother. Yeah I've done much smarter things, but I have some way cool pictures of various road signs & such from the five state trek that document the trip. Memories are irreplaceable I tell you.

Although we passed through Dallas, Texarkana, Little Rock, Memphis, Nashville, Louisville and Cincinnati....the most interesting was Hegh, Arkansas. When stopping for gas we were curious to know where we were since we were in a relatively remote area west of Memphis. We were told the town or village was called Hegh. The girl laughed when we didn't quite catch the name the first time she said it, apparently our reaction was not uncommon. It's pronounced something like the sound you'd make when trying to catch your breath after overexerting yourself combined with the sound of hocking up a big loogie. Those small, southern towns are so cute aren't they?

This also included a stop in Memphis to watch an Ohio State football game on ESPN at a Jillian's. We talked a security guard into letting us park the monstrous U-Haul in a spot in the parking garage reserved for emergency vehicles because the truck wouldn't fit anywhere else. We ate and watched the Buckeyes beat Washington State.

My brother was also stopped for speeding in my car, as I drove the U-Haul, by a Tennessee State Trooper. The trooper also noticed I had expired tags on my Ford Taurus. Lucking out, again, he was from Evansville, Indiana....a town I had lived in and the place where my expired tags were from. So, being friendly, we began chatting about the town and gave him the story about what we were doing & don't you know...he let us off the hook!! His advice...just make sure the U-Haul was behind the Taurus to hide the fact it had expired tags. The Volunteer State is awesome!!

At least one move did not require the assistance of a moving company per say. Instead I enlisted the help of family & friends. Already working for a small newspaper in Grayson, Kentucky, I was offered a job in public radio in (surprise) Evansville, Indiana. I set it up that my brother, Chad, would come down from Columbus, Ohio to help with the move bringing with him a rented truck of some kind & Mike, a long time friend ours.

Evansville, Indiana: http://www.evansville.net/my-bin/index.cgi

Chad & Mike arrived in an SUV-type vehicle. This as some good space, but the thought immediately crossed my mind that we could be in trouble since I had a bed, a coffee table and kitchen table & chairs among my belongings. An SUV & my 1992 Mercury Sable had no where near the needed capacity for hauling everything I had.

Just minutes into loading up the vehicles it was quite clear to all of us that my car & the SUV were not going to be enough. Lucky for us my sister was in college, at Morehead State, about 25 minutes away. Her boyfriend, now husband, Chad was down visiting on this weekend. Making it sound like a casual phone call we eventually asked, "Hey, you guys wanna go to Indiana?" As if that's something everyone does for fun on their days off. Jill could see right though us, but she and my future brother-in-law agreed.

After their arrival all the boxes and smaller items are stowed away. We then had to rig the furniture in, and on, the SUV as best we could. Imagine, if you will, a bronco/envoy-type truck with a box springs, mattress, coffee table (topside down) and kitchen table (legs removed) tied on on top of another on the roof of the SUV. The only thing missing was Grannie Clampett in her rocking chair smiling & waving to passersby. It would be funny to imagine if the move was across town or across the county using back roads & local byways. What's amazing is that we drove from Grayson, Kentucky to Evansville, Indiana. That's 284 miles along I-64, one of the major interstates in the U.S connecting six states!

I-64: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstate_64

To make sure my belongings wouldn't be scattered throughout the Kentucky and Indiana landscape I drove the lead car with my brother & Mike in the truck behind me and my sister and her boyfriend behind the SUV. Actually I had to drive three car lengths ahead of the truck just to be able to keep an eye on the tower of furniture top of it. Jill & Chad had to keep the same distance from behind to watch the backside of my belongings (and keep from being pelted by the possible spray of loose furniture). If I had bet money on it we would have, or should have, been pulled over at least once for being a road hazard and a danger to motorists....but it never happened. Although we did have to stop once to tighten the ropes on the load as the mattress began to flop in the wind.

The drive ended up being pretty uneventful, though I would have had enjoyed the drive a little more if I had had some company. My traveling companion was the cat belonging to my then girlfriend,"Marius"(She was a fan of the musical theatre, preferably Les Miserables, that poor cat). My brother finds it hilarious to this day...I'm not sure why....jerk.

Les Miserables: http://www.lesmis.com/

I ended up being in Evansville for a little more than a year. Despite the fact I have fond memories of the city and its surroundings, Evansville wasn't so kind. I was eventually fired from my job, had an engagement broken, was forced to attend a Jewel concert & was told by my superiors that I couldn't cut it in radio - lovely. Some good did come out of my time as a Hoosier. I saw Violent Femmes & Rusted Root in concert, experienced some cool German heritage, food and architecture & my office mate Jeff met his future wife through me.

You see when I was given the pink slip my replacement was our part-time weekend announcer and board operator Angie (fellow Ohioan). After my demise she & Jeff began hanging out which evolved into dating and led to their marriage. They now live in Louisville, Kentucky and have a son. Jeff is of Scottish heritage and their wedding consisted of the groomsmen wearing traditional Scottish grab...kilts and all. The ceremony ended with a sort of laser light show at the Kentucky Derby Museum area of Churchill Downs. That was the weirdest, and coolest, wedding I have ever attended.

Violent Femmes: http://www.vfemmes.com/bandinfo.html

Rusted Root: http://www.rustedroot.com/

Kentucky Derby Museum: http://www.derbymuseum.org/

Evansville has some rich history as a river port along the Ohio and some of that history still exists, that was enjoyable. If you find yourself in Evansville you have to find a couple of places. Gator's Hot Fish House will knock you on the floor - fantastic sandwiches! Also, right downtown, a cafe called Bits And Bytes (playing up to the business lunch crowd) has a ridiculous sandwich called the Floppy Disk. A wonderful & unique lite, yet filling, flatbread lunch time grab. A walk along the Ohio River bike path is also pretty cool, as is the Evansville Museum of Art (although I only remember being their once and it included a beer tasting in which Jeff & I got pretty toasted....we were lightweights). And don't forget to visit historic Newburgh to the East in Warrick County.

Bits And Bytes: http://www.findlocalcatering.com/Indiana/Bits-and-Bytes-8065.html

Gator's Hot Fish House: http://www.restaurantdb.net/go/restaurants/view-145412.html

Newburgh: http://www.newburgh.org/

Evansville Museum of Art: http://www.emuseum.org/

One more thing about that southwestern Indiana city. The Victory Theatre, a historic theatre the city renovated, reopened when I was living their. One of the new programs was a summer classic movie series and I was sent on behalf of my public radio station to do a story on it. We were to see "Singin' In The Rain", but it never happened. Apparently those running the projector had a hard time getting it to work and in the opening credits they MELTED the film! Those in attendance could actually watch the film be destroyed as the melting process was projected onto the screen. Needless to say that evenings entertainment was cancelled. At least we were given a tour of the old, historic facility.

Evansville's Victory Theatre: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Victory_Theatre

Anyway, I'm happy to say my moves have become less frequent now days and every so often I get a phone call from U-Haul asking if I'm "Okay" and why I haven't moved recently, did they do something wrong? They think I'm upset with them. I just tell them I've been able to keep a job and I think their services are excellent. Though their Christmas cards have stopped coming and they no longer offer the "Craig Simpson Discount" - apparently too few people took advantage of the offer.

I'm sure a few more moves are in my future. Hopefully, that means my career is moving forward or my relationship with my girlfriend is progressing nicely. Otherwise if you have a move in your near future and need some advice, I'm also available. But be wary - I charge by the hour! ;)