Traffic Ticketing Snowmen Bring Holiday Cheer; Boost City Coffers

It is the season of giving for commuters around Marion, Ohio. With the introduction of festive traffic cameras by the Marion City Police Department a few years ago, commuters are all too happy to give back to city services by running a stop light or driving wildly over the speed limit a couple of times each holiday season.

The cameras, hidden inside packed snow resembling the heads of snowmen, are placed in various trees around the city that line some of Marion’s busiest residential thoroughfares. 

The idea is the brain child of Police Chief Ethan Saunders. “We wanted to develop a way for residents to give back to their community without burdening them with the anguish of a tax increase or the hassle of being pulled over by an officer during this time that is supposed to be joyous,” Saunders explains. The department started the unique program a few years ago, but at the time officials say drivers seemed to ignore or not even notice the cameras…much to their chagrin.

Saunders says things really took off when they found a way to make the cameras part of the city’s holiday tradition. “It came out of nowhere during a conversation with Mayor Jeff Meisterburger. He was explaining how much fun his children had with the Elf on the Shelf around the house each year and suddenly we thought we could adapt the same concept to our traffic cameras. And just like that, it took off like wildfire,” Saunders says with much enthusiasm.

Instead of just placing normal, boring cameras in plain sight, officers use the snow piled up after the first big December winter storm to create snowman heads with the cameras inside. The added effect of placing them in trees was just icing on the Christmas cookie.

Mayor Meisterburger first thought of hiring a professional sculptor to create the snowman cameras, but instead decided to have off duty officers create their own crude versions. This he says, “...brings a nostalgic feel to the snowman cameras. Like those snowmen we remember making as children. These are complete with sticks for arms, rocks for eyes and maybe a paint can or cute planter as a hat. We encourage the officers to use their imagination.”

According to Saunders, “We used to have the officers create these on a random afternoon, but we made it a surprise last year. We had a few of the Drug Enforcement Task Force officers, who really weren't doing anything important, put on their winter tactical gear and go out under the veil of night to make and place them.” 

He says the feedback has been excellent, “A number of motorists say the surprise of finding them on an unassuming morning is just like the feeling they had waking up on Christmas morning as children. It puts a smile on their face and warms their hearts. They are, then, all too happy to miss a red light or push that accelerator just little further toward the floor and speed up, knowing the funds will be going to a good cause…their community.”

Mayor Meisterburger says they just wanted to work on getting a small piece of the seasonal giving market share that has been cornered by The Salvation Army for the better part of the past century. “We think we have an advantage over The Salvation Army as there isn't any annoying bell ringing, noise pollution or Joe Schmo blocking your way out of local supermarkets or other retail establishments,” explains Meisterburger. The mayor states that there isn't anything wrong with the bell ringers, but sometimes he just doesn't have any spare to change offer and doesn't want to be bothered with it.

Local children also look forward to the snowman cameras as they are placed in different areas each year and the locations are not made public prior to the camera placement. Captain Saunders says, “It is a joy to see children excitedly point them out to their parents at the last minute just as they are speeding by, texting, Facebooking or scarfing down their fast-food sandwiches.”

The city continues to build on the ever growing program. “For the first time”, says Meisterburger, “this year motorists who help us out by ignoring basic traffic laws will receive a Christmas Card and 'Thank You' note from the city. Also inside will be their citation and colorful photos of their vehicle darting through Marion’s holiday rush hour. Its the least we could do with the overwhelming positive response we've had, the folks have been great.”

Some residents are appreciative of the city’s forward thinking. South State Street homeowner Ariel Horowitz says he and his neighbors have started a competition to see who can be the top city benefactor. “We start preparing our strategy as soon as Thanksgiving is over,” states Horowitz excitedly.

Church Street resident Zeke Pendergrass says he has started collecting the citations and photos, “We plan to pass these down from generation to generation. How else will our children’s children, and other family members, know what things used to be like. It’s a true history lesson, it’s educational.”

Progressive some would say.

Though, there are some critics who think the program is just encouraging erratic driving and could end up doing more harm than good. To that, Mayor Meisterburger says they have taken precautions against possible program abuse by running public service announcements in print and broadcast media beginning in October and running through the end of the year.

He says, “Folks need to understand that the city only needs so much. Commuters should remember that this season is also about family and togetherness. No child should be waking up on Christmas morning with nothing from their parents. The city is urging motorists to share their holiday spirit with everyone.”

Captain Saunders says there will be new twist to the program next year, as they plan to have a naming contest for the snowman cameras. “The fun should not be relegated to those with a driver’s license. We want children, the handicap and undocumented immigrants to feel like they, too, are apart of the city’s Christmas season,” he claims.

Just like the sound of jingle bells warms the hearts of folks elsewhere; in Marion, Christmas is filled with the sounds of blaring horns, screeching tires and the minimal annoyance of police sirens.

Happy Holidays from Marion, Ohio.

A Happy Holidays Christmas Parody. The snowman heads pictured are real and were only harmed when the temperature reached + 32 degrees. The cameras do not exist. That means this story is fake...not real...a joke. Thanks for your understanding and keep laughing.

****UPDATE: Due to the fact they were essentially dead and were barely hanging on, the "trees" or partial stumps that held the Snowman Heads were officially cut down and turned into saw dust in January of 2017.They are no more, long live Snowman Head Traffic Cameras****

A Reminder of What Hasn't Happened Yet.

Sitting in Panera on Columbus Day and I casually watch two women have this intense conversation through sign language. You can tell the range of emotions they leap to and from by facial expressions and hand motions...the passion in their conversation is obvious. They easily comprehend (and feel) each and every point made by one another.

Without the use of spoken word, they connect and are oblivious to the rest of the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm oblivious to this type of being. Connecting on a level beyond the physical. I've found (and very quickly lost) short-lived instances of this kind of connection. All in all, it makes me feel like I'm lost. Not ignored or alone, just...lost.

I have a decent apartment, in a small town and have a decent job with my fair share of friends and acquaintances. Though I'm unsure of the direction I'm going or who I'm supposed to find or if I have the wherewithal to sustain a real, deeply personal relationship with someone. A number of relationships I have had have come close, but somewhere in the mix it seems as though I am missing a key component or cog that creates a disconnect in this mutual existence. That disconnect then becomes this huge crevasse that ultimately makes me less than what is desired, and that relationship ends. They move on, and I'm lost.

I don't know what it is that is missing or I'm not seeing. And to make matters worse, those partners don't always know either. They just...know. They can feel it, they can taste it, its right on the end of their tongue. But they are unable to put it into words, words that I can understand. If they don't know what it is exactly, then I can't necessarily make sense of it or correct it.

I have definitely changed my way of thinking, put myself second more often than not and have replayed the past in my head over and over with hopes that I would grasp what it was that I was or wasn't doing. Correcting mistakes is the path of real development, right? On the verge of 38 years old and that is apparently not the case. Still watching relationships start off with a real feel of "this is it", but then before it turns that corner...I've lost something...or they need to be more fulfilled with...that something.

Wow, I cannot begin to explain to you the number of times this has happened. Its almost funny...like a bad situation comedy. I would say comedy of errors, but I couldn't tell you what errors are being committed. I'm sure there are plenty. I would be ignorant if I said its always them, its not me. I'm sure its me...I'm positive on that. Its just extremely disappointing to continually restart, be ready to take that plunge...then return to square one. Missing that person on a daily basis and trying to keep yourself occupied to keep from over thinking or driving myself insane.

With that, I have that feeling of being "lost". Not ignored, or alone, or "the world is against me"...I'm just missing a certain state of being. That key component that allows us to connect on a deeper, more personal, intimate level where its you and me...and the rest of the world is on the outside looking in.

You know, that ingredient where you are having fun in a room full of people; intently listening and comprehending conversations, thoughts and feelings...but are instantly brought back to Earth, to your little world shared only by you and...well, whomever it may be (Since, I sure as hell don't know). Its that look, the glance, that shy smile, wink or casual hand gesture that indicates that deep down...you have my undivided attention no matter what the case may be. That...that state of being, that connection, that mutual grasp of what it is each of you want and need from one another; this is what I haven't found. And, unfortunately, I thoroughly believe its what I don't have that keeps it from becoming a reality and developing into something much more meaningful.

The last three days I have continually replayed what took place on Friday in my head, and I'm an still unable to understand it. Maybe I'm not supposed to...sure wish I could. She seemed more upset than I, and let me tell you that makes me feel that much better about it. I just wanted to comfort the girl...I don't think I even now how to do THAT any more. Oh, the two women at Panera, signing and connecting on this ridiculous level without uttering an actual sound...they each have been brought to tears; happy tears, still laughing and reaching that level of being that I'm oblivious to.

I hear jealousy is an unflattering characteristic.

I waited by your bedside,
And didn't close my eyes all night.
I named you like a prayer.

It's anybody's guess how,
The angel of doubt came down,
And crept into your bed.

But after we danced to the shipping forecast,
The words escaped your mouth:
"I know it's gotta stop love, but I don't know how."

Now the stairs forget your shoes,
And the gate don't creak for want of you.
But the jury's out on me.
We're wise beyond our years,
But we're good at bad ideas, my love.
Or so it seems to be.

Shine a little light,
Don't wrestle with the night,
Don't think about the future now.
I know it's gotta stop love but I don't know how.

My little one, my kettle drum,
I know I had a message at the start.

My babel tongue, my come-undone,
I know I had a message at the start.

My prison kiss, my dying wish,
I know I had a message at the start.
But it up and abandoned us, when we were sleeping in our beds.

Shine a little light,
Don't wrestle with the night,
Don't think about the future now.
I know it's gotta stop love but I don't know how.

My little one, my kettle drum,
I know I had a message at the start.

My babel tongue, my come-undone,
I know I had a message at the start.

My prison kiss, my dying wish,
I know I had a message at the start.
But it up and abandoned us, when we were sleeping in our beds.

It's anybody's guess how the angel of doubt laid down
Sand beneath our house.
I know it's gotta stop love, but I don't know how.
I know it's gotta stop love, but I don't know how.

New Ceremony by Dry The River