That's Going To Leave a Mark...

Discussing taking time off for Russell's arrival evolved into getting a month to get situated with having a child and L was able to work out getting about three months. The last week prior to the birth included a baby shower put together by my coworkers for L & I and since L's maternity leave was underway she was able to take part in the mid-day Wednesday soiree. The festive decor included actual rocks (those used for library-related crafts) scattered around the plate of celebratory cookies. 

My paternity leave was to then begin at the end of this week, but an ice storm that Wednesday afternoon encased everything in ice and the snow storm the following day dumped about six inches on top - thus, closing the library Thursday & Friday. So my paternity leave began two days ahead of time. It was fun pounding away at the ice and snow to clear the driveway and free our cars from their ice cocoons on day one, then shoveling it all again the following day. If anything, our cats enjoyed the constant human interaction.

During the de-icing of our cars we came away with on unexpected benefit. A couple of years ago, frustrated after an argument (we don't remember what it was about) - L released her pent up negative energy by punching the backside of her car around the trunk area. Unfortunately, she hit it hard enough to leave a fist-sized dent. 

Five inches of snow, on top of an 

inch of ice.

Fast forward to the aftermath of the February 2022 ice storm, I'm banging on our cars just hard enough to break up the ice to allow for an easy removal. A couple of areas needed a few additional whacks and to our surprise one of those hits with a bit more mmmph actually popped out the dent left by L's iron fist way back when. Upon hearing this great news, L said she had only told her brother of how the dent occurred because she was embarrassed and had previously feigned ignorance when asked about it.

On Saturday, I squeezed in a 3.1 mile run to suffice the Break the Ice 5k virtual race. The in-person race takes place in South Haven, Michigan during the Ice Breaker Festival we have attended each year since 2019. Though we couldn't get there this year with the pregnancy just days away from completion, but signing up for the virtual race meant we would still get the coveted SWAG sent to us. I didn't run all that fast since the ice and snow made for less than stellar conditions, but it was nice to take part from afar. The full sun helped to defeat the near-single digit temps as well. #HShive #mettlemonday

Limoncello cookies,

chocolate biscotti 

& pizzelles

We then celebrated L's birthday by picking up some pastries I ordered from Old Man Ciacchi's Italian Bakery, a local couple who run a bakery from their home. I highly recommend the Limoncello cookies, but everything they make is excellent. This was then followed by breakfast at the Sunbury Grill as L had been craving a hearty breakfast without the whole "healthy" thing getting in the way. We spent the rest of the day at her parent's watching the Olympics and playing her brother's Civilization board game till midnight. On the way home, L teared-up a bit realizing the next time we visit her parents she - herself - would be a mom.

Despite being tired from the long Saturday, L didn't sleep well as Russell was moving all over the place. The movement was similar to when he turned the opposite direction the week before, but we think he was just getting excited or making sure his bags were packed for the upcoming change of scenery. The Sunday was also the arrival of several things we had ordered, or were sent to us, for the baby. One of those things may have been a Bengals onesie complete with beanie and bib - the poor boy has to be ready for the Super Bowl next weekend, right?!

We stayed up late, again, watching the Olympics Sunday night and were, again, greeted with blue sky & sunshine Monday morning. As L stayed in bed, I took care of the cats and wandered into Russell's room, gawking out the window into the backyard to see the sun bouncing off the snow, birds taking turns visiting the feeder as well as this past December's Christmas Tree lying just below it and a feisty red squirrel protecting it's territory by chasing away it's bushy, gray brethren. 

A portion of Russell's room

Sipping on a cup of coffee, I couldn't help but come to the realization this would be the last day we would NOT be parents. Looking around R.O.K.S' soon-to-be occupied room, I laugh at the fact I'm going to be a first-time dad at 46 and - holy crap - we really need to organize the piles of collected baby stuff & supplies lying in the crib. 

Making her way out of bed, L's to-do list starts with calling our landlord and inquiring as to why the rent on our duplex would be going up another 10% (just short of 20% total the last two years). Hearing the frustration in her voice, she was not happy with the answer of "this coincides with the recommendation of the independent appraiser we hired." Concisely & calmly giving the person on the other end of the line a piece of her mind, L then hangs up. Now angrily spouting how wrong this is to the atmosphere around her, I interrupt the diatribe with this is not the time to get herself cranked up.

Getting her to relax and focus more on the to-do list to prepare for tomorrow, we agree that once we are settled with having a baby to care for we would then begin the process of looking for a home to buy. This, of course, would be months from now but still a little disappointing that The Fermented Firefly would be changing locations a little sooner than we had hoped - but good things do have to come to an eventual end: "We'd get sick on too many cookies, but ever so much sicker on no cookies at all." ~ Sinclair Lewis

Headed out the door at 7am
to extract Russell.

We were up at 6am, the cats knew something was up as bags were stacked at the door, we loaded the car, took a deep breath, I downed a quick espresso and we drove the five minutes to Grady Memorial Hospital just as the sun was rising. The parking lot was relatively empty and so was the hospital itself, but when we were escorted to our room there as a parade of nurses, physicians and medical personnel. Pre-operation steps get underway, awakening the butterflies for the both of us, well-wishing text messages began to chime in and soon I found myself in scrubs from head-to-toe....this was really happening.

A description of what would take place from here on out was detailed, then a nervous L was wheeled to the operating room - leaving me pacing in the room by myself searching for some sort of sanity. Soon a nurse pokes her head in coaxing me to follow and into a small prep area outside of the operating room. I wait, again, as the time is almost there and when finally beckoned - L is displayed on a table, covered in sheets and surrounded by what seemed to be every medical professional in the building.

R.O.K.S - shaking his fist at me 
moments after birth.

I sit on a stool next to her head which is poking out from behind a sheet screen, grab her hand and the procedure begins. We are given details as to what is taking place during the procedure, shielded by the work itself. We make fun, nervous small talk as she tries to ignore the pushing, squeezing and pressure being issue to her lower half. Before we know it, were told he has been removed from his human cocoon. A quick glance over the sheet and I see a tiny, purply, wet alien-like person held above the table with his tissue tether dangling below him. He isn't crying much, but rather is making annoyed squeaks similar to those made by the angry squirrels that take over our backyard.

Then the waterworks begin, L is crying and I'm a complete mucusy mess. The boy is brought over to meet his mom for the first time, then is placed into the warmer for post-op screening. I'm staring threw the waterfall of tears at this little person with breech birth legs sticking straight up into the air, being poked and prodded by nurses. As the medical personnel disperses, this tiny hand grips my finger and these steely blue eyes glare back - likely wondering what the hell just took place.... I'm right there with you, brother.

For a lack of a better phrase, L is stitched back together and we - along with an awesome hospital staff - welcomed the 7 pounds, 7 ounces and 19 inches of Russell Orland Kidder Simpson to the world at 9:52am on Tuesday, February 8th. For this one day, if ever there was one, all was right with the world.

So here we are, the two of us has become three - ending an era and starting a whole new chapter with stories to tell, mistakes to make, discoveries to uncover and a family to administer. It's all hands (and paws) on deck, for C, L, R.O.K.S, Whiskey & Jameson are about to begin....

Weezer - Beginning Of The End

Knocking on my door they tell me it's time to go on
Last check in the mirror to see if anything's wrong
The writing's up on the wall
A warning shot to them all

My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared
My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared

Nostradamus predicted a bomb would drop
And all our guitars will be humming in old pawn shops
Watch us brush off the dust, in heavy metal we trust
Then kick back and read The Sunday Times

My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared

Fifteen hundred thousand years
Wouldn't be enough to dry these tears
I'll still be here hanging on, and on, and on
Things will never be the same
Save the pieces of your brain

My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared
My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared

My boy, the Bengal fan!

Highly recommended!

Jameson & Whiskey chillin' in 

the sun, unaware of the

forthcoming human noise maker.

This race has the coolest

shirt designs

Russell's room, the owl

cutouts came from the

library baby shower.

Russell's woodland

theme is everywhere

Russell!

C, L & R

To Be Frank, I'm Not a Big Fan of Your Cervix

So 38 weeks, 8.7452 months, or 266 days - however you want to call it - you NOW DECIDE you want a change of plans?! We sure hope you understand the repercussions for last minute changes.

On L's most recent weekly check up, the doctor felt a hard lump at the top of L's baby bump - which isn't new, this is typically Russell's knee or foot poking at his human cocoon. Upon further inspection, the doctor wanted to be sure of what she was feeling and - utilizing an ultrasound - her thoughts were proved correct. It wasn't a knee or foot she was detecting, it was the top of Russell's head.

Apparently, ROKS had moved into the Frank Breech position (Not to be confused with former Bengals Kicker Jim Breech). Ideally, a baby is positioned so that the head is delivered first during a vaginal birth. In the breech position, a baby's rear-end or feet are located first in the uterus. For a Frank Breech baby, the buttocks are aimed at the vaginal canal with its legs sticking straight up in front of their body and the feet near their head. 

Not the ideal position you want your baby to be, especially if you are 36 weeks or further along, which we are. While at my work desk, L called to give me the less than spectacular news. Now, this only means the traditional vaginal birth is not likely and a C-section is the ideal form of delivery. This does nothing to indicate the health or status of the baby, but definitely not what we were expecting. Sounding a bit defeated on the phone, L and I would soon be meeting with the doctor to further detail the next steps.

Again, Russell is doing fine, but we truly were not looking toward a surgical procedure used to deliver a baby through incisions in the abdomen and uterus. For something to do I began reading up on breech babies and found a section titled, How can I flip my baby if it's breech? And let me tell you, it was rich:

* One is called the Bridge position which requires one to lie on the floor with their legs bent and your feet flat on the ground. You then raise your hips and pelvis into a bridge position. Hold this position for 10 or 15 minutes several times a day. I believe I've seen this in those Denise Austin fat-burning workouts. You used to see these played on ESPN in the wee hours of the morning, an apparent attempt reach a wider audience. Though, I believe that audience continued to be teenage and college-aged males...ehem...for "some" reason.

* Then there is the Child’s pose which has you rest in the child’s pose for 10 to 15 minutes. Apparently it can help relax your pelvic muscles and uterus. It is stated that you can also rock back and forth on your hands and knees or make circles with your pelvis to promote activity. In a sense, pretend you are an unruly child not getting what you want, so go limp and fall to the floor as if you are in full pout-till-they-cave-in mode. Though, they'd rather you not scream like a banshee as it might create additional complications (neighbors, police, misdemeanors, etc.)

* Music: Place headphones or a speaker at the bottom of your uterus to encourage your baby to turn. Instead of "go towards the light", go towards the sound of whatever crap your mother is pumping into the cavity between her bladder & rectum. Wouldn't this just want to make your child climb up into your diaphragm to get away from the obnoxious noise?

* Temperature: Try placing something cold at the top of your stomach where your baby’s head is. Then, place something warm at the bottom of your stomach. Yes, yes, yes....this has been used since colonial Massachusetts and - with any luck - will also dissolve the malignant supernatural powers related to the wiccan fetus inside.

Anyway, the C-section has been scheduled for February 8th which will be three days after L's birthday and six days before Valentine's Day. At least the boy will be doing me a favor by lumping all the special occasions within a week of each other (note to self: future Februarys will be busy). 

For my knowledge, L sent me a screen shot of her online medical information regarding the scheduling of the surgery. And I don't know about you, but do they really need to call their discussion a telephone "encounter"? I feel like they discussed the coming birth of ROKS through extraterrestrial means with the expectation of it taking place somewhere near Area 51. Though the boy will likely look alien like - preferably not like the one in the movie Alien - when he is extricated.

As we try to digest Russell's sudden change of how he'd like to exit his human incubator, we are experiencing some crazy cold times. Not that this doesn't happen regularly at this time of the year in our part of the country, but a few days have been a bit more extreme then we would prefer. And it makes it that much less fun to run, but it is something that must me done (alliteration is fun).

Since the short spat of illness last week, I have increased my liquid intake to make sure hydration is at it's peak and have cut back on some mileage to a level more associated with aerobic exercise than training. Thinking I had outfoxed mother nature's arctic blast by getting outside in the full sun last week and I was greeted with a temperature of two, yes, two degrees.

Now that is definitely cold, and it has been much colder in the past around here & elsewhere. Though it was just annoying that despite hand warmers in my gloves and dressed to where I could be mistaken for a Muppet, my sun glasses nearly completely fogged over, which then also froze. Meaning I was only lucky to have been running in an area familiar to me so as to avoid being pummeled by oncoming traffic or clotheslined by a tree branch. And my hands were cold, just not frozen. #HShive #mettlemonday

A little Lebowski is apparently on the way!

A super fun stat from this day, our unborn son's age was still a larger number than the windchill temp of -5. It is winter and it gets cold, sometimes REALLY cold, but the extended polar vortex is a bit much. The football gods did help offset the cold by giving my Cincinnati Bengals the wherewithal to avoid any major mistakes - or blunders -and turn the tables on the Chiefs to garner their third Super Bowl berth ever! I'm still in shock and haven't washed my Joe Burrow jersey since the season started. It is so cool that R.O.K.S' first football watching experience will be a Bengals/Rams Super Bowl in two weeks!

According to our birth app, Russell is the size of a bowling pin. Since we completed the baby room this past weekend, we at least know he will tie the room together. We are also told our baby's internal systems are good to go and, fun fact, his brain and lungs are the only major organs that continue to develop into childhood and beyond. Oh, and his vocal cords have fully developed so he can be ready to communicate with once born.

Finally, we are made aware that babies are known for their adorably huge heads, which are a result of all the brain power baby develops in utero. At this point your baby’s head has about the same circumference as their abdomen - hopefully Russ will grow out of this and not resemble a cartoon character throughout adulthood.

Assuming the procedure goes well & Russell doesn't change his mind - again - one week from today we will be the parents of an actual human, not just a pair cats who believe they are also human. It is exciting as well as daunting, but one can't try to pile years & years of what's to come into day one. Like a race, take it one mile at a time, focus on the task at hand and breathe.....

The Raconteurs – Steady, As She Goes

Find yourself a girl and settle down

Live a simple life in a quiet town

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes

Your friends have a shown a kink in the single life

You've had too much to think, now you need a wife

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Well, here we go again

You've found yourself a friend that knows you well

But no matter what you do

You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell

So steady as she goes

When you have completed what you thought you had to do

And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue

Then you'll get along

And then you'll get along

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Well, here we go again

You've found yourself a friend that knows you well

But no matter what you do

You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell

So steady as she goes

Steady as she goes

Settle for a world, neither up or down

Sell it to the crowd that is gathered 'round

Settle for a girl, neither up or down

Sell it to the crowd that is gathered 'round

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes

Russell, coming soon
in Technicolor!

L, about to burst. Deflation
scheduled for next week.

The first beer label I made for
our wedding in 2019, L's head
on an animated body

The second beer label for
our wedding, a work photo of 
me goofing off and a creepy
one of me outside of my then-apartment

Russell's beer labeled, bottled and ready for his
arrival. To be cracked up on February 8th!

The label made for Russell's arrival. The
background is a photo I took from the
South Haven, Michigan pier on Jan. 30 of 2020.

My mom, sister, brother-in-law, nieces & 
nephew paid us a visit following my 
nephew's basketball game.

My Bengals, led by a fellow Southeast Ohio 
native, are off to another Super Bowl!