You've Got *Unborn* Mail

At one time or another we've all received mail addressed to us with a misspelling of our name or even a butchered phonetic version of what appears on our state issued ID. For example, I received some Victoria's Secret junk mail this week addressed with my middle name as my first name followed by the correct last name. My first name didn't appear anywhere on this piece of physical mail spam and I have never used my middle for anything other than what it is, how?

It was very odd, though there were some excellent "classy" photos of barely-there undergarments being modeled by stereotypical looking women for me to peruse through before sending it to it's recycling bin home in the carport. Maybe the squirrels will find it just as entertaining.

For other mail, there comes surprises. The day after receiving the mail addressed to a nonexistent version of me, we received a package addressed to myself, L and Russell! The first piece of mail received with our son's name on it. The text sent by L consisted of a photo of the label with the message, "It's like he's a real person!!" 

The package had contents to help add to the organization of the baby room, which has been fun and one can't help but wonder if Russ would approve of where things are located and how it's decorated. Even the cats have been spending time snooping around and curiously wondering what will soon be taking place.

Once L putting the crib together, she wondered what we should do regarding the possibility the cats (Whiskey & Jameson) getting in to it. For awhile there wasn't a worry as they saw it as something taking up space and avoided it. Then about two weeks ago I hear L yell, "Jameson!", which was followed by a thud and then an orange blur leaving Russell's room and darting down the basement steps.

This will be posted for our cats shortly. We're giving you
fair warning Whiskey & Jameson.

The fat orange cat (nicknamed: chunka-chunk) was discovered curled up in the crib asleep. Typically, this would be worrisome, but some key factors are in play. One, he was asleep on a blanket he prefers and this is something that will not be in the crib once Russell arrives. It was simply a temporary holding place. 

Secondly, both of the cats freak out at the slightest noise and I can't imagine them hanging out in a room where the equivalent of a drunken smoke alarm getting false positives from alcohol-fueled dreams breaks the silence every hour. And, Yes, I did just compare our unborn son to a Schizophrenic warning system (Sorry, Russ, but you gonna be loud & lots of things will irritate you. My apologies). 

L's pregnancy, which had been relatively uneventful, now seems to be testing her with the "you thought this was going to be easy, didn't you" stage. A stomach bug clobbered her for about two days this past week, leaving her unable to go to work, inhaling liquids and sleeping (or attempting to sleep). Of course, carrying a fetus at 37 weeks compounded the process of ridding her system of said bug.

The first night she was tossing around and visiting the restroom so frequently that I was unable to rest. I moved to the sofa in the front room, but since it is more/less a love seat - my six-foot-three frame couldn't get comfortable. I ended up curled up on the floor, drifting in and out of sleep till my work alarm went off. It wasn't a fun night for me, I can't imagine the enjoyment L dealt with.

Tuesday Night Ice Ninjas: Gary, Ken and yours truly.

The Tuesday night meetup with Gary & Ken for a run, wings & beer at Buffalo Wild Wings usually ends with me garnering something to take home to L. This week, instead of food from b-dubs, it was Gatorade and dry cereal from the nearby supermarket. The run on this night was cold, icy and windy - making it less than fun. Jokingly, Gary said the ice was a blessing as it forced us to slow down for an easy pace as he goes about covering Delaware City streets for his CityStrides and kept him from having to keep up with my usual 6 minute mile pace. Though, he still has awhile to go to catch me in Delaware as I have covered 405 of 633 streets for just under 64%. He may have me elsewhere, but this is my town...for the time being anyway. #HShive #mettlemonday

L is in good spirts as the
time gets closer

Thursday morning wasn't fun, woke up feeling dead tired with my back feeling like I had been in car accident. From the base of my skull to my tailbone, I was sore & achy - making it hard to move around. It was weird...no head cold, no chest congestion, no stomach issues, just worn out & sore. This forced taking two days off from work and kept me from taking part in Saturday's Fantastic Frigid 5k Race #2. Then just like that, it all wore off and I was back to normal again. I even went to get tested to make sure I didn't have some backwards form of COVID, but that came up negative...craziness.

On one of the days when I was at home hung up with whatever it was, L grabbed a few things at the grocery store she thought would help ease my discomfort. Then she sends me this text, "Seeing a lady wiping her produce with Lysol wipes....that poor red onion has no outer layer skin anymore." This made me laugh, but then my curiosity got the better of me (*I was a little bored*) and I found this on the Lysol Products website: 

"Lysol disinfecting and cleaning products are for surfaces and not for personal use. They cannot be used on the body or on food and always should be used as directed."  

Some people make my brain hurt.

Preparing for a Bengals win
with Jameson & Whiskey

Anyway, what made the weekend a bit more tolerable was watching my Bengals return to the AFC Championship Game for the first time since 1988, that's 34 years! Even L, a Steelers fan, was excited. It was like my childhood showed up for a couple of hours to say "hi" as it was passing through. How significant was the playoff win over the Titans? I received several congratulator texts, including one from the mom of a girl I dated in college! Yeah, it has been a long time for the Cincinnati fans and everybody knows it.

One of L's favorite things to eat as of late has been grapefruit. She eats them in a way I've never seen. She scarfs them down like one peels & eats an orange, then scavenges to get every piece of pulp off the rind. She laughs and says this is just how she has always eaten them, but it reminds me of how I would imagine a Chupacabra would go about devouring a goat or lamb gone astray. Surprisingly, she hasn't nipped a finger or two with the way she attacks the citrus and at least we know Russell will be well protected against Scurvy.

So, we about three weeks (THREE WEEKS!) away from R.O.K.S making his debut! And according to our birthing app, we are 37 weeks and he is the size of a Pound Puppy! If you don't remember (I do, my sister had one), these were plush stuffed dog dolls with floppy ears and droopy eyes. They came in a variety of colors, some with spots. Hopefully, our son will arrive spot-free. And finally, we have wandered away from the food related references to the size of our future child.

The app also states our baby is nearing their due date, which means that they could arrive any time now. But until then, they’ll continue putting the finishing touches on their development.

Speaking of, the most recent check-up for L show's ROKS' heartbeat inching closer to the target rate for birth, his head is down and he is facing her backside. And he is officially dropping - just like we have noticed - to get to the best place for turning prior to birth. Oh, and a test of the beer made for Russell's arrival has proven it to be a successful venture, slightly sweet up front, then dry and hoppy on the backend - tasty and refreshing! 

So everything is on par, even ahead of time, and it is setting up like it should....yeah, it will not always be a walk in the park - but at least we can imagine it to be...three weeks till parenthood...

Blur - Parklife

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (Parklife!)

And morning soup can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as (Parklife!)

John's got brewer's droop, he gets intimidated by the dirty pigeons, they love a bit of it (Parklife!)

Who's that gut lord marching? You should cut down on your pork life mate, get some exercise

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

Know what I mean?

I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen (Parklife!)

I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving me house (Parklife!)

I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too, it gives me a sense of enormous well-being (Parklife!)

And then I'm happy for the rest of the day, safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

Parklife (Parklife!)

Parklife (Parklife!)

It's got nothing to do with your Vorsprung durch Technik, you know

Parklife (Parklife!)

And it's not about you joggers who go 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round

Parklife (Parklife!)

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

Jameson & Whiskey, enjoying the current silence.

Photuris, Photinus, Pupa - 
The Russell beer at
The Fermented Firefly

Snow hike Sunday w/ L

Looking like death warmed
over during the sickness. 
At least Jameson could relax.

Trogdor, the Dragon Fetus

On a midweek off day I officially took down our Christmas tree (we removed the ornaments and such days ago) and removed the remaining holiday lights adorning our house. The recent "warm up" to the 30's allowed for being outside for more than just a quick run and felt like spring compared to what we have had here lately.

Trogdor, sketeched by a former
coworker about 7-years ago
and still on my office
computer. Thanks Joel!

Yes, the holidays are over but our biggest present of all will be coming shortly. As for L, I'm sure she is just as excited for the baby's arrival as she is to be free from new aches, pains, bodily functions and constant gymnastics taking place in the womb. Some days she gets around the house like a patient in the triage unit and it makes you wonder how something so small could be creating that much of a ruckus. Is there actually a baby in there or some alien being festering inside? We are pretty sure it's a baby and not Trogdor from those old Strong Bad Email videos from homestarrunner.com. Either way, we don't have any thatched-roof cottages nearby we would have to worry about being burnt to the ground. So, yeah, we're good.

Keeping L's mind of off baby Russell's ramped up preparation for exiting his human incubator is getting tougher, so we have been finding other things for her to focus on. She does walk a mile or so around our neighborhood on a daily basis and spending time arranging the baby's room has been helpful. Once home from work we have been binging on episodes of "The Office" to keep both of us on a more even keel.

 
Sometimes the commercials between those episodes add some unexpected comfort. We had a good, stupid laugh at a cat litter advertisement as this woman was stressing how bad her pet's litter boxed smelled and was at a loss as to what she could do to correct it. I commented her problem wasn't the general odor, but the holding it up to her face like she was presenting a freakin' plate of lasagna for the family dinner table. If I shoved my head in the toilet, I - too - would probably complain about the smell!

Yeah, it's the little things that can get us going.

Oh, and that same night L felt Russell making odd movements and laughed when she realized he had the hiccups. Though she felt it much more since it was happening inside of her, I was able to faintly feel them myself after placing my hand on her stomach. One of the causes for hiccups is sudden excitement, maybe he, too, thought the cat litter comment was hilarious (that's my boy!). Also, did you know the medical term for hiccups is singultus - weird.

On Tuesdays, when I don't work the evening, I have been meeting up with running (and beer) friends Gary & Ken to squeeze in five miles or so. We start and finish in the parking lot of Buffalo Wild & Wings with the finish consisting of post run wings and a couple of beers. This past week, I was surprised with a gift from Gary and his family. It's a copy of the book "Goodnight Brew", a parody on the book "Goodnight Moon".

L's Funfetti cake, complete
with firefly decorations

Instead of a 'picture book' it is described as a 'pitcher book' for grown-ups, a besotted bedtime story for beer lovers everywhere. You follow the crew of animals as they close down for the evening and say goodnight to the brew kettle, barley and yeast, hops and mash, saison, porter, IPA, and more. Obviously, a tongue-in-cheek thing, but the last few pages do have brew infographics that follow the story. It may come in handy, in more way than one, in the near future. 

This coming weekend is race #2 of the Fantastic Frigid 5k Series and if all goes as planned, I should be able to take part. Race #1 ended up being on the same day as the birthing class two weeks ago and I had to miss it. It isn't expected to be as cold as the first one and I'm looking forward to a trail course as the asphalt can get monotonous at times. #HShive #mettlemonday @honeystinger 

At her place of work, L's coworkers had a baby shower for her. When asked what kind of cake she would like to have, L was proud to say - with the full confidence of a proud, adult woman - that she wanted a Funfetti cake. If you don't know, this is a white or yellow cake with rainbow colored sprinkles baked into the batter. When baked, the sprinkles melt into dots of bright color that resemble confetti or in this case "Funfetti". 

Sunday Night's snow walk, L 
& Pupa Russell standing
 under the street light

The targeted demographic is, of course, children, but I guess one can get a pass if you are about to have a child as well. And the piece L had, of course, did have one of the fireflies on it. Just paying tribute to the logo she created for The Fermented Firefly. And she brought home a piece for me...and it was delicious. #HShive #mettlemonday

This past weekend saw my Cincinnati Bengals end a 31-year drought by winning a playoff game and did it with a fellow Southeast Ohio native in young superstar Joe Burrow. At the same time, L's Steelers lost in what is likely Northwest Ohio native Ben Roethlisberger's last game after 18 years. A bit of a weird contrast taking place on the same weekend for the both of our teams.  And we also had the first significant snowfall of the season, something we enjoy and typically results in a night walk around our neighborhood.

The long Martin Luther King, Jr. Day holiday weekend ended Monday with the library where I work taking part in an event hosting Author Nic Stone and ending with a book signing at the library. I came away with a book signed by her for Russell and she used his ROKS initials after inquiring about the name we settled on. She also thought it was insane for anyone to run outside in the wintery weather, but since she lives in Georgia, she doesn't enjoy cold weather in general anyway. A couple of photos of what she wrote can be found below.

We are at 36 weeks and according to the birthing app, Russell is now the size of a bag of Bugles, so we at least know he's tasty (note to self: DO NOT EAT THE BABY). Another food related reference, this app knows us way to well. 

We are also told his blood circulation is fully up and running now. And at around 36 weeks or later, your baby drops from around your rib cage to closer to your pelvis. Aha! Russell did that in the last week, he's ahead of the game! I believe L is proud to know our boy is a leader and not a follower, as well as a corn snack.

So 28 days, 4 weeks or one month - however you break it down - that is what the birthing encyclopedia indicates regarding the time we have until Russell's arrival. Though experiencing L's recent reactions to his increased movement, Russell apparently has his bags packed and is just waiting for the early train to leave the station. 

Patience, Trogdor...uh...I mean, Russell...patience...we still have some corn snacks to finish off...

Tanlines - Brothers

Minimal big mistakes, and the last one:
In the car or the store, you didn't ask for it
Take your time, take the place, and react
Does it in my mind set the pace?

And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them

Take a chance, make a choice, you couldn't not look
Indecision overload is only chance figures
Change my mind, make mistakes, and put it past them
Raise the bar, set the course

And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them

You're just the same as you ever were
You fighting, no wonder why it makes no sense
I'm just the same as I ever been,
But I'm the only one who doesn't notice it

See me through the front porch
Sure, I want more
Off the cuff, doesn't measure
Got a front door
Take the stairs, make mistakes
Just make up for them
On the spot, don't pretend

And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them

You're just the same as you ever were
You fighting, no wonder why it makes no sense
I'm just the same as I ever been,
But I'm the only one who doesn't notice it

Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey

You're just the same as you ever were
You're just the same as you ever were
You're just the same as you ever were
You're just the same as you ever were

A slice of L's funfetti cake.

The back cover of "Goodnight Brew".

The front & back inscription from Author 
Nic Stone

Don't Mind Me, Just Passing Through the Pelvis

If ever we needed additional preparation for our forthcoming child, this past week definitely put us through the ringer. 

On Wednesday we sat through a two-hour webinar after work on nursing & breast feeding which was interesting to a point. Though I did find myself nodding off for a moment or two a few times, it didn't help that the gray cat (Whiskey) was curled up asleep and purring away in my lap. Jokingly, L wondered why I wasn't interested in seeing all the boobs. There were a lot of boobs....A LOT of boobs. Afterwards, I had to find the energy to squeeze in a five mile run in the dark, arctic night. The run was the easy part. It was the waking myself up to brave the initial blast of the single digit temps that made it difficult.

Fun with birthing class

Then on Saturday, we spent six hours at Dublin Methodist attending a birthing class. We joined two other couples who are also expecting in February. Maybe it was the standard dress for a cold, January Saturday morning, but we three fathers-to-be were all wearing jeans and a hoodie. Again, we encountered plenty of welcomed advice and tips which were greatly appreciated. Among the educational pieces were a number of videos that entailed gobs of valuable information, but also generated images we wish we didn't have to see...several times.

Remember The Office episode when Michael walked into the delivery room where Pam was giving birth and immediately exited with the phrase, "Gotta go wash my eyes." Yeah, imagine that, but about 20 or so times. On the drive home, L was trying to come up with an explanation for some of the things we saw and asked, "Do I look like that?" I was happy to tell her - and truthfully - no, no you do not. It was, however, pretty satisfying to watch the parents in the videos welcoming their newborns into the world and we couldn't help imagine what it would be like for us in the next month or so.

The birthing class nurse did remind us that the moms need to focus on getting rest and this is where I gave L the stink eye because this is something I tell her constantly. Though, Sunday did us no favors. Her Steelers needed to win to give themselves a shot at the playoffs and they did, but with a field goal in overtime which caused some unwanted stress for her. For Pittsburgh to officially make the playoffs, the Sunday night game between the Raiders and Chargers could not end in a tie - which rarely happens.

Photuris, Photinus, Pupa Pale x 3
at The Fermented Firefly

Despite having a 15 point lead with less than 5 minutes to go, the Chargers scored twice (and added a 2pt conversion) with the second touchdown coming as time expired to send it to overtime. L is now cursing and yelling at anyone to score. It was an out-of-body experience to hear her beg for whomever had the ball to score a touchdown and/or throw a pick-six, and for either defense to strip, scoop & score - ALL AT THE SAME TIME. She didn't care just somebody score some damn points! 

As you can imagine, it came down to the Raiders kicking a field goal with two seconds left in overtime to have the game NOT end in a tie. So much for rest, we went to bed near 1am with work coming just a handful of hours later - but Pittsburgh is in the playoffs....somehow. My Bengals will now get to host the Raiders in their playoff game next weekend, me thinks I'm now jinxed.

All of this as I attempt to complete Columbus Running Company's Inspire Columbus Winter Challenge. It is a commitment to yourself to run or walk at least one mile outdoors every day in January. You log your miles and have opportunities to win prizes along the way. 

Sounds like an easy thing to do, but forcing yourself to squeeze in a few miles each day with less than human weather going on and mostly in the dark (usually an after work thing for me) is a testament to one's will and desire. I'm used to taking at least two days off each week during the rest of the year, so in order to keep from going overboard on this challenge I try to replace the off days with short jaunts. So far, so good on my end but the recent super cold spell is making it tougher to get started each day.

35 weeks & baby is the size of a lean, mean,
fat reducing, grilling machine

I had signed up for the Fantastic Frigid 5k Series, but race #1 ended up being on the same day as the birthing class. I did pick up a pretty cool event shirt, but race #2 will take place on January 22nd of which I should be able to take part. These are apart of the larger, inaugural, RunColumbus Race Series, a year-long series of races in Central Ohio where you earn points with each completed event and battle for age group titles and such. We will see how many I will be able to take part in as the year progresses. #MettleMonday 

Also on Saturday, I bottled the beer I created for the arrival of Russell. And to our delight, it looks, smells and tastes as I had hoped. It should be ready to pop open when our son decides to grace us with his presence. And it will be nice to have some substance to go along with the fun label created for the occasion here at The Fermented Firefly.

So according to the baby app we use, the boy's arrival is expected in about 5 weeks - give or take - and is the size of your standard George Foreman Grill. It has become real enough that L has a hospital bag or two packed and ready to go on a moments notice, so the butterflies are in full force. I don't think anyone is ever expertly prepared for having a child, but I think we are prepared enough that the unexpected is our expectation. We are ready to not be ready for the smoothest, bumpy ride (or the bumpiest, smooth ride) imaginable. 

R.O.K.S is preparing to land, T-minus 35 days, or so, and counting....

Michael Buble -A Foggy Day in London Town

A foggy day in London Town

Had me low and had me down

I viewed the morning with alarm

The British Museum had lost its charm

How long, I wondered, could this thing last?

But the age of miracles hadn't passed,

For, suddenly, I saw you there

And through foggy London Town

The sun was shining everywhere.

A foggy day in London Town

Had me low and had me down

I viewed the morning with alarm

The British Museum had lost its charm

How long, I wondered, could this thing last?

But the age of miracles hadn't passed,

For, suddenly, I saw you there

And through foggy London Town

The sun was shining everywhere.