I Got Three Twist Ties and a Paper Clip - Where it's at!

So I had to officially say Goodbye to my Garmin watch just as my summer running tour was getting started. It was an older version, one that used the umbilical cord to upload stats to my laptop. It was a used device passed onto me by my brother and I had utilized it religiously. Even when it began to wear out, I found ways to keep it intact and track my miles. Unfortunately, my MacGyver-like fixes and patchwork could only go so far.

Super glue, three twist ties,
a piece of the torn band
and a paper clip.

After a few weeks of repairs, it became too much to endure. The super glue, three twist ties, paper clip and random piece of the former watch band that made up the missing portion of the watch, had to go. I contacted Garmin with the following email, partly as a joke and mostly because I was proud of my watch repair ingenuity and wanted to share it:

Hello Gurus of the Garmin...

Below you will see some recent pics of my Garmin Watch band (older, but not ancient. Though, it does utilize the umbilical cord in order to upload and thinks Bluetooth is a Harry Potter character), it is slowly disappearing like Marty McFly before his future dad clocks the crap out of Biff and makes out with his future mom - ooohh yeeaahh. It doesn't help that I use it - essentially - every day. These pics are from May 17th.

Since then...I've had to also utilize the assistance of paper clips and binder clips, along with the sandwich bag twist ties you see here, in order to ensure it stays upon my wrist and doesn't go the way of Betamax.

As much as I would hate to run without the watch (not that I'm working on a sub 2 hour marathon, but I am a stats geek and I'm approaching 42 which means running at the level I'm at now will not last much longer - Damn You Father Time!), I would like to eventually run without the band further eroding or having the watch face surgically embedded into my forearm - alas, my state employ health insurance is good...just not that innovative - and I wouldn't trust Trump Care as much as I would having a rabid wolverine as a house pet.

The MacGyverd Garmin and departed pieces

So my inquiry is - how can I get said watch band fixed, replaced, fused, transformed or magically evolve into a slightly more technologically savvy running device? I'm all ears...and glasses...and thinning hair...and single...and...oh..um, I mean...Thank you for your most gracious time and Run On Friends.

Sincerely,

Craig S.

I wasn't expecting jack squat, but was curious to see if I would get some sort of humorous response.

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Surprisingly, the folks at Garmin relayed to me it would be possible to replace the somewhat ancient and crumbling Forerunner 110 with an intact device of the same caliber. All I had to do was box up the sad allotment of pieces  of my former watch, minus the knickknacks used to keep it together, and send it to them. Though, this would take anywhere from 10 to 14 days.

In the meantime, I was annoyed I wouldn't be able keep track of my miles (500 + since December 2016), splits and speed - which aren't super important, but I'm a stats geek so the withdrawal potential started to creep in. Instead of returning it right away, I decided to wait till after Saturday's New Moon Quarter Marathon in Delaware (Memorial Day weekend) and possibly the 2017 HOKA ONE ONE Columbus 10K (Columbus' oldest road race) the following weekend - that's if my piece part repair job(s) hold up.

The thought of having to go some time without it was a little depressing, I think we both shed a tear when it really hit home - or was it simply sweat I wiped off the watch face? The world may never know.

New Moon Half and Quarter Marathon race route

Saturday late afternoon arrives and the quarter marathon is whispering my name. I'm joined by some of my The Buck Fifty 150 Mile Relay teammates - Susan, Patricia (both running the 1/4), Gary, Tom & Kevin (all running the half). It was pushing 80 degrees with 60% humidity, but it had rained a ton the night before and was cloudy for most of the day, then the sun came out blazing at 6pm: our start time.

At the gun, I'm cruisin' with a group of four or five who are going faster than I prefer but I wanted to feed off of them for as long as I could. The first mile felt good, despite being a 5:45 clip. I was definitely going to slow down, but this was good. At mile two the speedsters are drifting off in the distance and I'm decent, being constantly cheered on by groups of onlookers at every corner and driveway. Mile three was similar, off by just a second or two from the previous time check.

And then the humidity and thick post rain atmosphere hit me hard. Suddenly, I felt worn out and my legs couldn't find a grove. Usually, one can eventually find a gear to stick with - not so much on this day. Mile four was a minute slower than the previous and all I could do was keep moving and suppress my inner demons from making it worse. The next 2 1/2 miles were labored. Staring at the ground ahead of me with the course in my peripheral was my way to focus on finding the finish line. I couldn't even make the casual attempt to try to stay with any of those who made their way past me.

I finished in the daylight, but the scene as I was

leaving was quite picturesque.

I didn't want to cruise control to the finish, but I had to and avoided looking at my watch since disappointment had already sunk in. Rounding the corner to the finish with a huge crowd pulling me in, I dragged my worn out legs to the end and stopped my watch. Then, without hesitation or thought, grabbed three glasses of water off of the table next to me with my right hand and in one fell swoop, dumped them over my head. A quick gasp at first, then just like that it was refreshing. Still slowing moving forward, I'm handed my finisher's medal and grab another glass of water - this one actually made it to my mouth.

New Moon Quarter Marathon

Finisher's Medal

I get my souvenir New Moon Half & Quarter Marathon cup and head straight to the beer cart. Its filled with a Shock Top Shandy and I down half of it quickly. Not the greatest beer in the world, but it hit the spot right then. I then see a table offering chocolate milk - well, why not?

So I'm shuffling around like a zombie with a shandy in one hand and a glass of chocolate milk in the other. The band in the block party area starts playing I'm Yours by Jason Mraz, I don't pay much attention, but this elderly woman - who is cutting a rug in her own little world - reaches for my elbow as I pass by and gives me the "hey, you look bored, wanna dance?" look. On the road to recovery, with my beer & milk and drenched shirt keeping me cool, I join her. Just she and I, in front of the band and hundreds of runners and party goers. I wasn't so much dancing, but rather slowly gyrating in a way that onlookers could make sense of what I was doing. As our song came to an end, I jokingly say to her, "You know, I'm single." She follows with, "So am I." We chuckle and I move on to the food tent to grab a cheeseburger and various other snacks.

That's about the time I finally glanced at my watch: 6.66 miles in 47:18, a 7:13 pace. Not awful, but a good four to five minutes off of where I was hoping to be. Officially, I was 9th out of 392 quarter marathoners. The course was slightly more hilly than where I train typically, but not so much that it would have played a key role. The humidity knocked me down.

Restoration Brew Worx, highly

recommend. Tell Frank I said, "Hi".

My teammates make their way in, some doing about what they expected (or hoped) and others (like me) not so much. A learning experience it was, but I will be back next year - I'm simply not happy the New Moon got the best of me. And, that too, its hard to not like a race where the start/finish line are directly in front of Restoration Brew Worx, BOOM!

Our group slowly departs, but before leaving - Gary, Kevin and I make a quick stop at Barley Hopsters to grab just one more beer. I have a Wolf's Ridge Driftwood Session IPA and we step just outside on the patio to relax and watch the sun disappear and crescent moon slowly rise.

That's when I reminded Kevin about the hat he wore when he arrived. He decided he didn't want to wear it during the race and didn't want to carry it, but had no where to put it. As we waited to enter the race corral, upon our urging, Kevin shoved it into some flowers in a planter in front of Barely Hopsters and stuck a rock in front of where he put it with the hopes that maybe it would still be there when he returned (if he remember to get it).

Kevin's eyes lit up, "That's right!" He wandered over to the planter, working his way through bystanders, stuck his hand into the arrangement and pulled out his fluorescent hat - it lives! He then headed out, leaving Gary and I to finish our beers and talk of future races, possibly next weekend's HOKA ONE ONE Columbus 10K. Once finished, I make the slow stroll north on Sandusky Street on the humid May evening toward my car watching passing head lights, street lamp glare and glowing store fronts dance off of race course reflectors.

Wolf's Ridge Driftwood Session IPA - Tasty stuff

Summer Runnin' is now two weeks old with race number one in the books and the unknown awaits. Here's to the miles, sweat, fun, heat, people to meet, beers to drink and sweltering streets we hope to endure in the coming months...

Moon is high, shining down on the flowers
You and I while away the hours
Walk me down the sweltering street
I want to feel the city's summer heat

They're gonna play those old records till dawn
Let the music go on and on and on
It's too hot to sleep anyway
So we might as well stay

It's getting late, they're closing their doors
Let's go upstairs and dance some more
The words left unsaid can be told in time
You've gone to my head like sweet moonshine

 Let's play those old records till dawn
   Let the music go on and on and on
It's too hot to sleep anyway
So you might as well stay

                                                                        Eilen Jewell - Too Hot To sleep

Runnin' Summer 2017 Tour:

Summer Runnin', Should Be A Blast

Summer Runnin', Should Be A Blast

My apologies for the title's play on words regarding a certain song from the musical Grease simply because I can't stand it, but it fits with what I'm trying to do here and couldn't pass it up. So, since the weather this week finally turned summer-like, I'm officially signaling Summer Runnin' 2017 starts now.


I plan to continue the running which has been a constant since I started punishing myself again last August after a decade off. My hopes are to shove a summer full of races in between my weekly regime of keeping my 40 plus year-old body in somewhat athletic shape. The first Summer Runnin' 2017 Tour stop will be the New Moon Quarter Marathon in Delaware on late Saturday afternoon (May 27th) of Memorial Day weekend.

A few of my The Buck Fifty Traffic Panthers Teammates from last month will be joining me, though most of them have elected to take part in the New Moon Half Marathon. They have given me some good natured ribbing for taking, what they see as, the easy way out. Though I elected on the quarter marathon partly because I haven't put in the kind of training I would prefer for such a distance, but also because I have become somewhat enamored with the 10k as of late. Sure the quarter marathon is slightly more than 6.2 miles, but it is close enough.

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Running by myself, my 10k PR is 40:51, but I want to see how much I can shave off of that (if possible) competing against folks. Similarly, in March I was able to erase more than a minute off of a four mile PR running a St. Patrick's Day race. I would like to be around 39:00 minutes, if all goes as planned Memorial Day weekend. I have explained to my teammates that I will be drinking beer a full hour before they do, but I'm sure that means I will owe them a few when they finish.

A week later is the Columbus 10k which I'm hoping to take part in if my work schedule falls in line and then there is a planned vacation to Costa Rica in July - attempting to run there should be interesting. This is what I have in mind and set thus far regarding the 2017 Craig Thinks He's A Runner Summer Running Series. The rest of the schedule, events and such will evolve as time permits and as long as my deteriorating Garmin Watch holds up.

"... just know that being a runner is all about patience and riding out the low points to get to the high points." ~  5 Rules To Follow For Your Best Summer Of Running by Mile Posts

The summer running tour will go to the end of September. I hope to keep at the writing, the running thing and the traveling as my goofiness permits. I am in no hurry, but I hope to also make some changes this summer. I'm not expecting anything and I don't know what will happen, so my summer will come with a clean slate and an open mind...while adding to my collection of race SWAG.

In the meantime - grab a few beers, run a few miles, enjoy the sun and make some new connections. See you at the starting line...wherever that may be.

Beer On running friends.

We spent the summer running
Scared of what they might do
After we spent the winter crying
In the mist we came all unglued
Sometimes back to school

It seems so sad

And nothings new
Until I spent the summer running....

                                            Billy Idol - Summer Running

Utilize Your Inner Dork, Live a Little

Interesting how the smallest of decisions, gestures really, can turn your whole world on it's head. They blindside you with an avalanche of happiness, joy, pain, frustration, anxiety and a reminder that it is never the wrong time to test the waters of what might be.

It was the summer of 2014, I have been working at the library for about seventeen months. What's interesting at the library is the amount of people you meet who eventually, and very quickly, get comfortable and accept you as a friend and confidant. We may just be their book or DVD connoisseur, but that qualifies you - in their minds - as an almost neighbor-like position in their world.

Some folks you see everyday, but only recognize faces (there are hundreds). These are the patrons who use the self checkout terminals and only require varying human assistance. You know who they are, but don't really know them. This makes for great people watching. It allows you to wonder, think and casually daydream about who they are, what they are about, their struggles, their wants and needs. You live vicariously through them with your minds eye's version of what their life is like.

Found this by accident, makes me feel old. This is/was

typical 80s.  I remember this movie well.

One in particular I only casually noticed every couple of days or weeks or so. She was tall, slender, short brown hair with a reddish tint, dark rimmed glasses and kept to herself. The kind of person who simply blended in unless you were looking for them specifically. Whenever I saw her - which was rarely as she seemed to stealthily make her way in and out without so much as a peep or out of the ordinary glance - she sparked my interest and curiosity. Jokingly, I thought I should one day simply stop her in mid routine and talk to her before she quickly vanished yet again. Nevertheless, I kept to my library work routine - though my interest was burgeoning.

She looked younger than I, but pushing 39 at the time I had discovered it was getting harder to judge ages. I thought her to be on cusp of that way-to-young/maybe-not-that-much-younger demarcation line - whatever that might be for you. It was simply my mind wandering as I went about my day job.

One warm, sunny mid-July day - the 14th I think it was - the cute mystery girl made her way into the library again. Being a less than busy day, you tend to notice everyone who comes in. Also, since it was an incredibly nice day we had been staring out the windows and plate glass doors with envy, wishing we, too, were enjoying the great weather. So, you couldn't be missed by our wandering eyes.

The tall, bespectacled girl went about browsing books, but with what seemed to be a little less determination today. She grabbed a few things, but then made a detour to browse the stacks of new books. This may not have been something new for her, but I had never before seen her long enough to be sure. My curiosity got the best of me and - too - I was a little bored with the slow day at the library, so I plotted a way to talk to her. With no real intention, I just wanted to challenge myself.

I didn't have to be some weird, enamored admirer. Rather, I could simply utilize the ruse of asking a basic library customer service question. I had no plans to ask for a phone number, for her name or twitter handle - I just wanted to put a voice and snippet of personality with the girl my imagination had been constructing. Biting the bullet and using the confidence of "I'm just doing my job", I took a deep breath and strolled out from behind the service desk and into the unknown.

I casually saunter over to the new book shelves and glance intently at each level - utilizing the premise of making sure the books were in the correct order and in the appropriate location was only slightly false. I did this everyday anyway, but it was not my purpose at this point in time. Slowly making my way in her direction, I get close enough to not seem like a creeper - but not so far away that It looked like I was preparing to defend myself or run in the opposite direction. Then, in my best customer service persona, I make contact.

The Triple Threat, that's me.

"Mrs....?", she turns her head slightly towards me, "Is there something I can help you find?"

"No, I'm just looking. Thanks."

"Well, let me know if you do.", and I walk around the shelves smiling ear-to-ear and giving myself a fist bump in my mind - yeaahhh, I killed it.

Headed back to the desk, all proud of myself, I couldn't help but notice she was much more attractive than previously thought. She left the library moments later and I spend the rest of the day basking in the glow of my super cool high school-like move. She had to be impressed, despite the fact she was unaware of what was really going on....

...then again, my ulterior motives were trumped just hours later.

My work day ended at 6pm and once home I begin unwinding, along with turning my phone back on (I have it off at work - while on the desk - so as not to be a distraction). Finally relaxing, I pick up my phone noticing the notifications indicator flashing. Among a variety of things, I have a Facebook friend request - but I don't recognize the name. Who is Dawn Ellirob?, I think to myself. Near certain its spam, I click on the name to see if I can make out who she is.... and I'm sure you've probably guessed the answer by now.

Suddenly, I'm sitting there with my mouth open in shear surprise that Dawn is none other than the library mystery girl. Not sure what I should do or how to approach this - since my feeble mind never planned for my gesture to be returned or even thought about a next step - I try to weigh the reasoning for accepting or ignoring the request. Yeah, the confident adult Craig from a few hours before was supplanted by a shy near 40 year-old unsure of how to talk to women.

Me Craig....you Dawn?

She, Dawn, is 23 - fifteen years my junior. This isn't a complete negative, since I don't know her, but it does make one think hard about engaging in such things. After wrestling with my confused mind, I decided to grow up (just a little) and throw caution into the wind. With timid fingers, I accepted Dawn's request. Moments later we are trading messages. Nothing to detailed, but rather short, basic, get to know you blurbs between two awkward people who are entering new territory: think Tarzan happening upon Jane for the first time.

Before ending our introverted interaction, I mention that she should say "hi" the next time she visits the library. Still a little stunned and unsure of the can of worms I just opened, I was excited - giddy even - for what possibilities might be ahead.

The next afternoon, not really thinking about anything and going about my work day at the front desk - and just like that...there she is. Just as timid and shy as I (though I think I was better at hiding it). We meet eyes, share a smile and she slowly comes up to the desk.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Miss Ellirob," as I try to lessen the weirdness circulating between us.

"And you as well," she says in a way a stray animal attempts to determine your motives.

Some further short pleasantries and I, being at work, go back to assisting patrons. She finds a nearby seat and opens a book. With butterflies going crazy in my stomach and a stupid smile plastered on my face, every now and then, I glance in her direction and but can't help but notice her eyes darting back onto the book that's sort of hiding her face. To be sure I continue staring for a moment or two and slowly a sly smile emerges as she realizes I have caught her staring at me. Without acknowledging me, she's holding back laughter.

Warren G. Harding Memorial & Tomb

Before Dawn leaves, I suggested we meet up for a walk later at the Warren G. Harding Memorial. This is connected to a historical cemetery which is surrounded by a walking and biking trail. She agreed and that shy person I was just 24 hours earlier had disappeared.

I couldn't wait to get off of work - and I was still amazed that my "fake like I'm working just to talk to you" planned worked, going far beyond I ever thought it would. Maybe a little too eager, I arrive fifteen minutes ahead of time, despite living less then five minutes away. Shortly thereafter I see a red pick-up with cap pull up and park, its Dawn. Though, I see her exit the passenger side. Did she have someone drive her here? Maybe she did, but nevertheless, I get out and head over meet her - trying hard to hide my eagerness. We walk and talk, feel each other out with questions, inquiries and general who are you wonders. She is somewhat quiet and reserved to start, but is slowly opening up and a personality begins to flourish.

The first date steps

We find some steps to sit on and bombard one another with laughs and get comfortable enough to let our guard down. At easy now, I'm simply curious, "Did you get a ride over here?"

"Why do you ask?", as a look of confusion develops.

Pointing out that she exited from the passenger side of her truck when she arrived, she smiles sheepishly and rolls her eyes, "No, I parked parallel and I didn't want to open my door into oncoming traffic, so I slid over to the other side to get out." A little embarrassed, she looks away from me as if some cat was let out of the bag.

Failing to hold back a huge grin, What a dork, I thought...and I loved it. With that, she had me hooked. I wanted to kiss her before we parted ways, but I didn't want to push my luck. That, too, I was probably too shy to initiate it anyway.

Over the ensuing days we hung out quite a bit. And one of those times, also at the Harding Memorial, we were sitting along the ledge of the structure and decided to head back to my place to grab a drink on this rather hot summer day. So we parted ways to our separate vehicles. There, I did kiss her and I was grateful for the fact that she seemed much more mature than what our fifteen year age difference would suggest. Also, I'm likely less mature than my age would suggest, so we got along swimmingly.

I would find out months later that when we left the memorial on that day, she went to step off of the ledge we had been sitting on to head to her car, but didn't realize it was about a four foot drop. So when she came off the ledge she fell forward and had to stick out her arms to catch herself in order to avoid face planting the ground below. Somewhat horrified, she immediately looked around to see if I had observed this - though I had already made my way around to the other side of the building and didn't witness her fall. She then quickly jumped up, brushed herself off and nonchalantly headed to her truck as if nothing happened, keeping the mishap under wraps until she was comfortable with sharing it. Like it would cast her into a bad light somehow.

Also, it was made known to me that she was unsure of my name and had overheard me answer the phone at the library a few times but wasn't close enough to determine what name I used during my greeting. Too shy (or smart, rather) to come up with a stupid plan like I did, she went to see if I could be found on Facebook. She tried plugging in Greg and Craig, along with the name of the library to see what would come up to see if she could connect the dots. Thus, her investigation proved successful.

These are exactly the kinds of things I tend to do and it made me want to pursue what we had going on even more. Two dorks had found one another by complete accident, goofy worlds do collide sometimes.

We dated for 2 1/2 years and even lived together for some time, but with as much as we had in common and enjoyed one another - what we wanted, needed and expected from a significant other was just simply different. The things required to make a relationship last were the same, but at the opposite ends of the spectrum for someone who is 25 and one who is 40. Alas, in the long run, those things just simply didn't correlate.

As disappointing it was to see it all come to an end, my whole point of this is how simple efforts, whims or curiosities can turn into something much bigger and worthwhile. I wasn't really looking for anything and, at the time, was simply feeding my sometimes waivering ego - but that's all that was needed. Unbeknownst to me, I created the spark and a smoldering fire turned into a great blaze. Though, fires do get put out sooner or later.

Even still, I don't regret what we had or how it started. Its those kinds of stories which create memories and I challenge all of us to be more confident and follow up on a hunch or throw caution into the wind. Sure, they will not always evolve the way you want them to or how you imagine, but its the only way to be more alive and in the moment.

Don't just wonder what could be or what might have been - make it what happened, not what COULD have happened - create your own reality.

Embrace your backwardsness and let your dorkdom fly.

The Cougar Challenge: In Like a Sad, Drenched Kitten

Needing to continue setting short term goals now that the 150 mile relay has come and gone (which was my whole purpose for running again), this will be the first month to test my running wherewithal. And May is giving me some ridiculous exams.

The Columbus State Cougar 5k Challenge on Saturday, May 6th seemed like a good baby step in the post "major goal" process when I signed up for it a month ago, when we were seeing an unseasonably warm April with 70 and 80 degree temps. This month, though, has reverted to an Autumn-like state. Six days in and it hasn't reached above 60 and it has rained nearly every day.

The Columbus State Cougar 5k Challenge
Course Map

The day before (Friday, Cinco de Mayo) was just ugly: 45, windy and a downpour nearly the entire afternoon. I'm not one to complain about the weather, but schizophrenic - out of season - weather is just annoying. Despite mother nature recovering, apparently, from too many tequila shots the night before I was prepared to move out of my running comfort zone.

My training consists of longer distances and working on pacing for them. The 3.1 mile length is faster and is more/less a distance running version of a sprint. So,I was hoping to tag along with a group of folks more comfortable with the 5k distance to help pull me along on this day. Also, getting out of my own head and simply running a decent race was among my personal challenges. I tend to think too much which can be a detriment to your entire psyche. 

LOOK! NO CLOUDS or RAIN!

Luckily, the clouds parted and we had a bright blue sky and sunshine. Still cool at around 45 degrees and a more than decent head wind, the major focus was navigating the water logged golf cart path littered with pools of water. At the starting line ready to roll, a group of Columbus State Cougar Cross Country members slide in next to me. Maybe, I thought, I can use them to pace me.

At the gun, I'm trying not to take off at light speed and work on hanging with those who have emerged to lead the group. Though, within a half-mile one of the Columbus State members moves ahead of everyone and the group I'm with seems - to me -  to be going a much slower pace than I than I'm typically comfortable with. Splashing along, I take it upon myself to move ahead to where I want to be and keep an eye on the rabbit in the Cougar uniform ahead of me.

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It wasn't easy to keep my personal pace up as puddles and pools of water seemed to litter every inch of the route, but being able to see the lead runner from time to time kept my mind in place. With my shoes and socks fully waterlogged, I ignored the urge to slow down and pushed ahead.

About two and a half miles in on the ever winding course, I glance to my left to see who was relatively near me. A course official says laughingly as I pass, "You've have no one to worry about." That was good to know since the constant splashing and sloshing along the course made it near impossible to be able to tell who was behind you and how close they were. Working on stride and form, I glide through the final straight stretch and across the finished line. Winded, but not all that worn out, I think I was more frustrated with having to trudge through muck and small bodies of water for about 20 minutes.

Race SWAG

Officially, I came in second overall - first in my age group - at 19:40. A little slower than what I had been looking for, but the shape of the course after several days of constant rain had a big impact. A good 45 seconds behind the winner, but still 46 seconds ahead of third place. The SWAG included a cool Columbus State Community College tote bag, decent racing technical t-shirt, excellent medal, a coupon for $15 off your next purchase at Columbus Running Company and a myriad of random whatnot.

Happy with myself, I decided to make a pit stop on the way home. Come to find out Restoration Brew Worx in Delaware opens at 11am on Saturday and I arrive at eleven on the dot. I recommend the Double Judgement DIPA and, if they have it, the jerk rubbed grouper sandwich (it was the special on this day). It is stupid good. The bar maiden on this day just so happened to be a runner as well, so we shared some good stories before the crowd made its way in.

So, I'm still running and I'm enjoying it because I'm running for me. As spring evolves and summer lies in waiting, I'm planning to keep pace with various races as they become available. Next up is the New Moon Quarter Marathon on May 27th and maybe the weather will wake up by then.

And maybe, just maybe, some good things will come with it. Run on my friends...

“The soul is like a wild animal—tough, resilient, savvy, self-sufficient, and yet exceedingly shy.” ~Parker Palmer

Age group winner's medal

Post race feast

I Found Myself Running

I had forgotten what it felt like to feel, to really FEEL. The soul finding flurry of emotion reminding you that you are alive, human and more than the random lost puzzle piece trying to find a place to fit in.

Running again has done this for me. It has been a several months since I was able to get beyond the obstacles of forcing my body to remember what it used to do, but for some time now I have found what I thought I had lost. You can tell me I'm an idiot, but I would say the same to you if I simply didn't understand. Sure I run for pace and time, but the effort has pushed my running beyond the physical fitness and into opening doors in my mind that have been closed for way too long.

On the outside I'm concentrating on what I'm doing, but inside I'm thinking about yesterday, today, tomorrow, what once was and where it is I'm going. At the end of each run, I'm winded and interested in whatever stats are offered by my Garmin watch - but my mind is open and juggling so many thoughts and emotions about any, all and everything. Sometimes things are clearer, sometimes I create more of a convoluted mess in my ever changing world and sometimes...and I'm not afraid to admit it...I'm brought to tears. Stop laughing - I said you wouldn't understand.

One might refer to it as being, well, skull f***ed. My apologies, but this is the best true definition I can attach to it.

This, this is what I have missed out on, or better yet - have lacked - for...geez...I'm afraid to say it...for years. I now know this and, I'm ashamed to say, what everyone has tried to tell me for as long as I can remember. If you are among them, and you know who you are, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for not understanding, for being unable think, for not getting beyond my small mind, for not seeing things through the same eyes or glasses as you, for being less than what was needed.

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It was once said to me that all I cared about was beer and running which is far from the truth. I like beer and have quite a few friends in the beer community, we talk and relate to one another. We aren't snobbish about it.

What wasn't understood was that I wasn't running to get away, to ignore, to hide or to exclude. I was running to help me understand, to ponder decisions, to wonder where I'm going. And, yes, it has helped to sway which direction to go when stuck between a rock and a hard place. The kind of decisions to which you hope you aren't wrong and letting go of something that part of you wants to hold on to - but you know it has be done despite major reluctance. A part of you that just can no longer be. Attachments be damned, release them and run in the opposite direction screaming, "Serenity Now!"

Sure this has created major insecurity, an enormous amount of butterflies that poke the gag reflex, sleepless nights and restless days. I'm typically confident and secure in who I am, this is new territory for me...but that's good. This is living, this is feeling, this is being human and not casually going through life without putting yourself out there, let chance be your guide.

Yeah, this is some scary sh*t. Like I said...this is new to me, sadly.

And this is all because of running? No, it isn't.

Running, rather, getting to this level in running has led me to this. It may not be running for you, it may be some other physical activity or self-reflecting exercise, place or process. Though this particular area of running has been that for me.

It started about getting beyond the return to running, then suddenly I lost a big part of what was my life and attempted to remedy that by running to suppress feelings and to forget. Though that's not what took place. Instead of suppressing and forgetting, I've knocked over a can of worms that has opened closed doors, unleashed hidden feelings and uncovered a world that was tucked behind mountains of selfish pride and an unwillingness to change. Of course, it hasn't been some magic bullet of change - I can feel the urge to go back, but it is up to me to continue forward.

 Guess what? Change is hard.

I'm now questioning where I live and where I work, I now have a passport with a trip to Costa Rica this summer - my first trip abroad. I ponder what needs to go, what needs to be brought in and who I need to leave behind because I'm moving forward for the first time in what feels like a lifetime. I don't need to tell anyone about what I'm doing or why I'm doing it, because this is for me so I can be a better person for everyone - present and future.

It's not you, it's me. As it should have been long ago.

So...I found myself running, and didn't realize how lost I had been.

Do You Still Run? - Part 8: 150 Reasons Not To, One To Be a Legend

"The Buck Fifty: 150 Miles, 24 Hours, 10 Person Teams, 02 Drivers, 1 Great Cause" - this is the promo line you get when you visit The Buck Fifty 150 Mile Team Relay's website. What you aren't told are the amount of nerves, psychological struggles, physical push-throughs, communications issues and having to deal with a dramatic change in Ohio's lovely weather - seemingly - for just these specific 24 hours. Thus, the inaugural event would include 38 teams with runners from around the U.S. of A.

Here in the Buckeye State we had 50 to 60 degree weather until Thursday afternoon, then the hammer came down and it included 20 mph winds, a wonderful mix of snow-rain-sleet, and temperatures ranging from 18 to 30 as a result of the wind chill. So, on Friday (race day) our van #1 with runners 1 thru 5 began with light rain/snow mix and crazy wind. What you don't know at this moment is the weather for Sunday through Tuesday for the SAME AREA: 70 to 80 degrees and sun.

Mother Nature...you know what you are...I will not say it...but YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

Mark - we sold your house while

you were gone. Good Luck Team Captain!

Adding to the insult, our team captain and collaborator behind this whole thing we're doing - Mark (yes, the same Mark who started all of this with that Facebook message last July that simply said: "Do you still run?) -  he discovered in February that since he is really good at his day job, he was getting a pat on the back.

That pat on the back...a cruise to a tropical location on the same damn week as the race. As the rest of us have been putting together details, dotting I's and crossing T's, he has contributed with things like the picture here on the right with a message of "Good Luck Team!"....ass. He did, however, find a replacement as Josh joined in on the fun.

Mark didn't have an excuse, but we had another change before it all began on the day of. Susan came down with the Flu and could not take part, she found a replacement in the form of her friend Chris. Luckily, Chris was eager to take part and the first group began their journey at 6:30 Friday afternoon.

Traffic Panthers Van #1, posing

with The Buck Fifty winner's trophy

Funny, we in van #2 didn't know this until after van #1 started. We stayed in contact letting each van know how far along they were via texts. So when we get a text saying "Chris is in, the next leg is off!" we in van #2 are perplexed and look each other thinking, "Who the hell is Chris?" Through eight months of planning, that name had never come up. We even created a team Facebook page to assist in the communication, still, no Chris. A short explanation later, and it made more sense, but still an odd surprise.

We in van #2, carting around runners 6 thru 10 (I was #6), would begin the journey Friday at 11pm under the cover of darkness. Armed with a reflective vest, headlamp and flashing tail light, my first leg would be a relatively flat four mile jaunt from Frankfort Adena High School to about Edwin H. Davis and Sons, Inc. Soon, van #1 teammate Patricia arrives, I take the baton and I'm off.

Leg #6, my first run

Thankfully, it had "warmed" up to 36 degrees, with a clear sky and a bright, near full moon to help guide me along. A rather large hill at the beginning, but the final three plus miles were flat and easy. Running like that in the middle of the night, I was not used to, especially since I couldn't wear my glasses and attempting to see race directional signs was a chore. I even passed a competing runner and gave her the "keep it up" greeting as I went by. We all needed a little encouragement.

Nerves quickly pass and race mode kicked in, about 25 minutes in and the light at the end of the tunnel (the end of leg #6) appeared. I pass the slap-band baton onto my teammate Eric, he takes off and I celebrate making it through the first of three designated runs. Once in the van, I down some water and realize - I AM STARVING. A Cliff Bar, a banana, a granola thing, peanut M&M's and a grab bag of whole grain Cheetos from the race SWAG bag disappear in seconds. I now get to ride along for the next couple of hours as the rest of Van #2 completes their first mission and Van #1 starts mission #2 at a grain mill in Kingston. There, I get some coffee to warm my chilly bones.

Traffic Panthers Van #2, with the Adena Warrior,

about to begin.

We get about 2 1/2 to three hours to chill before we are back at, holding up at our homebase for the weekend (the house of my former high school track coach and Buck Fifty van driver, Mike). I didn't sleep - others did. Rather I closed my eyes and more/less meditated. More bananas, water, and cliff bars are downed and we head out to the start of our second mission around 4:30am Saturday.

I will begin leg 16 at Walnut Creek Campground and Resort and follow a slow incline for six miles to the intersection of Walnut Creek Road and Marietta Road, just in the shadow of Tar Hollow State Park. Waiting on the Van #1, our teammates took longer than expected. They had to venture through the trails of Great Seal State Park and the trails were mucked up and trampled, making it that much more difficult to navigate. When Patricia eventually arrived, accompanied by teammate Gary for support, it was now sunrise and much colder than the night before. At about 28 degrees and hidden in the hills, I stayed warm hanging out next to the fire created by the race transition team & crew while stretching and warming up.

Leg #16, my second run

I take the baton from Patricia at around 6:45am and head out. Hoping to be somewhat loose, it took a few moments of breathing frigid air to find my race/running mode and felt good. Able to pick up speed and pacing along the slightly inclined route, the sun slowly began to rise high enough above the hills to make it comfortable. Nearing the end, I see another competitor in the distance. Focusing on the silhouette far ahead, I try reel her in. Cresting a small hill, I see the end of my leg, I have moved within 50 yards of my competitor, pull out the baton and yell to Eric (my teammate) to catch her.

We exchange the baton and I come to slow walk, sucking air, and over joyed that I have covered the six miles in 44 minutes. Again, I down lots of water, bananas, Cliff Bars, snacks, Peanut M&M's and get to ride through hilly Tar Hollow with my teammates as we complete our second mission. I'm so, so tired, but I can't sleep. I can only sit there like a zombie, cold and worn out and watch from our vehicle. A few hours later, as we reach van transition #2, I get out and great the arrival of our first team at my former high school Chillicothe Southeastern (though when I attended years ago, it was in a different location and went by the name Richmond Dale Southeastern).

The Traffic Panthers at van transition #2

at Southeastern High School

Van #1 then begins their third and final mission as Tom finishes leg #20, we in van #2 now have a few more hours to chill. We head back to homebase and have about three hours to relax. Once there, some showered then slept. I showered (the hot shower was a godsend) and again closed my eyes, only sleeping mentally. I thought falling asleep completely would put me at a disadvantage as my toughest leg was just ahead. I get up a little earlier than the others, put things together and down some water, bananas, muffins and what not as I stretch to keep loose.

We drive separately to the finish line at Ohio University - Chillicothe so we could head out as we pleased afterwards, then load up in van #2 towards the end of the first group's venture and the start of our third mission, the final legs of the race, at Open Door Fellowship church.

By this time, it is a bright sunny afternoon, around 4pm, and warm - 60 degrees. Though I still have running tights covering my legs, only for the fact after ten miles with little rest, my muscles were tight and wanting to cramp. The tights kept the legs warm as I lubricated with a diet of water and bananas. Ahead of me is a 6 1/2 mile route taking me through Patton Hill, by far my toughest leg with 700 feet of elevation. The good thing...I get to comeback down the other side, the bad part...actually getting up there.

Leg #26, my final run

I stay moving and stretching for 30 to 40 minutes, then Patricia comes around the corner. Our third exchange takes place and I'm off. I notice my body is tired as I have been awake for 24 hours as my teammates & I have circled Ross County by van (Honda Pilot). My route starts flat and I'm able to pick up some speed and pass a competitor who is creeping along - yeah, he knows what's ahead. This may have been his way of regretting what he was about to do.

I had studied the map and know what to expect. Small hills at first, tight turns, bigger hills, a 90 degree turn to the right, more rolling hills, a 90 degree turn (again) to the right, then a long, constant step ladder climb.

My legs are on fire and my pace is snail-like. I try not to look at the crest of the hill in front of me. Instead,  I glance forward to judge the distance then stare back at the ground near my feet and focus on a breathing rhythm: in the nose, out of the mouth. Not staring at the top allowed me to avoid thinking too much about how far I had to go (and how much I was hurting), it was tough enough fighting my inner urge to stop running. At this point, the incline had my pace slow enough that it could be mistaken for walking. I had driven this route thousands of times, but running it - I thought - would be moronic. Damn it...I'm a moron.

Before too long the top came into view and it was comforting to pass the driveway belonging to some friends, The Wilbanks family. They had put a sign out front to encourage runners, this made me smile and was a true signal that it was all down hill from here. Using my arms to steady my upper body, I let my legs go with the flow of the twisting and turning 700 foot descent. And suddenly I can see Chillicothe and it's iconic, giant candy can colored paper mill smoke stack in the distance, a wonderful sight to see.

Reaching flat terrain, I pick up the pace and notice a competitor in the distance. Just like before, I focus on the dark silhouette and try to catch up. By now my body is cursing at me like sailor, persevering, I reach that once dark silhouette and I pass her. As I do, I stick out my hand and we high five just as we enter Chillicothe proper. She, too, conquered the giant hill and deserved some props.

Moments later I find the chute indicating the end of leg 26 and see Eric patiently waiting. I pass the baton to my teammate and slow to a trot, then to a walk. Breathing hard enough to be mistaken for hyperventilating, my body is fatigued but my mind is celebrating that my 16.6 miles in a 17 hour period have ended. Alas, I have conquered massive Patton Hill - and its climb - in 47 minutes.

Tom in front, the rest of us trailing, in the same spot where

we began 25 hours and 150 miles later

My van #1 teammates now each have three and four mile routes through the streets of Ohio's First Capital till we reach the end at OU-C. There, we meet up with van #2 and wait for Tom to finish the 30th and final leg.

Patiently waiting, he comes into view and we join him to cross the finish line together. We celebrate by getting our Buck Fifty medals from the finish line crew and complimentary box of a dozen Crispie Creme donuts. It took about three seconds to inhale the best tasting donut that has ever touched my lips, and yes, my body was screaming for more. I was so hungry and needed any kind of nourishment  I could find...except bananas. If I don't eat another freakin' banana for the next five years - my life will be complete.

We finished a little later than our goal, but no cared. We finished, no one quit, that was all we really wanted to achieve. We then congratulated one another and many left right away as they were tired and had family to see, events to attend & other engagements calling for them.

Most of the Traffic Panthers,

posing at the finish

Of the 38 total teams, we may have beaten five maybe six of them (if that). It was nice to know, but it didn't matter. We were fatigued, worn out, mentally drained, hungry, thirsty, sore and - most of all - relieved. Well, maybe, also a little ticked at Mark for getting all us into this then skipping town for the entire thing, but he knows the time to pay the piper will be coming soon...VERY soon (at least Susan, who had to back out due to illness, was there to watch, support and offer food to us).

Today, the following day - Sunday, April 9th -, I am sore from the waist down. I slept in till 9am and have not moved outside of my apartment here in the metropolis of Marion, Ohio. I have done nothing constructive other than what you are reading now. I'm still in clothes I threw on when I got up and my empty coffee cup is on the table next to me. It has moved though, it is off to the side and the coaster it was on is occupied by a Columbus Brewing Company IPA and it is now 5:15pm.

Proof of my laziness,

Whiskey & Jameson

say hi.

The same can't be said for Traffic Panthers Van #1 Teammate Gary. He decided to continue with his plans to run the Athens Half Marathon this morning, finishing 12th. Gary - no one likes a show off.

Oh, before leaving yesterday, I was kind of pushed into the awards ceremony by some teammates. Little did I know, The Buck Fifty Race Director Dave Huggins, and race committee, had a surprise for me.

Me with my snazzy Buck Fifty finishers medal

and "Do You Still Run?" plaque, etched slate

with an old barn wood frame...killer.

On a whim, when I started running again to train for The Buck Fifty back in August, the only thing that kept me going was the thought that if I wrote about it that would be an incentive to continue running (and not give up and tell Mark to suck it). Keeping track of my progress over the last nine months, and/or lack thereof, and sharing it with everyone has been amusing to me.

Apparently, Mr. Huggins and company have been appreciative of my efforts to keep everyone laughing at themselves (and me) for attempting to be the athletes we once were. I was totally blown away when I was presented with a plaque thanking me for doing what comes natural to me, being an idiot and letting everyone know about it.

I had kept in touch with Mr. Huggins and Jason Rhoades for several months, but had never met them - this weekend changed that and I'm - we - are better for it. Thank you Dave, Jason and all who assisted in this past weekend's event. This inaugural event is one to remember, but I can't tell you if I will be doing it again. Some of my teammates talked about next year, some just gave us dirty looks. For me, it is just too early to tell and my body hates me. We need to time to recuperate.

Finishers medal and super cool

"Do You Still Run?" plaque.

This was definitely more than just an experience. It was a lesson and a test of self-reflection, of determination and a reminder that living in the past will get you nowhere - no matter how much of that past you would like to redo or change: its over, create something new and (hopefully) better.

Preparing for this event helped ease my mind and inner being of something, and someone, I lost along the way (well, actually, she - the girlfriend - just simply packed up her things and left suddenly in January. Running has been my escape). Or did I really lose something or them? Maybe a return to running was the subtle message that you have reached the end. Painful and sad, but people and their needs and wants change...that is something you, or the two of you, cannot reverse - no matter how much you try, say or do the right things. Though, I would have liked to have been able to say "Goodbye" to her or at least have her say it to me, but the time for it is something that - too - has passed. She has a whole new life now. No reason to dwell, that's what the 2 1/2 years of memories are for I guess.

Thanks for everything E - good luck and take care. From everything I am or hope to be, I wish you the best...and I know its falling on deaf ears, but for what its worth: Goodbye E and...zhoom.

So, will running stay now that this ridiculous and provocative adventure/lesson/life event has passed? I'm not sure, though if it does it will not be at the level of the last nine months - then again - if our Absent Captain Mark is still eager that could be a different story.

"Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to walk boldly through them" ~ Orison Swett

Here's to venturing forward into life's unknown. I'm 41 and haven't a clue as to what happens next - just me, my cat roommates Jameson and Whiskey and...whomever and whatever may be.

So, friends, now you know the answer to that long, drawn out, ridiculous question....Yes, I do still run.

Run on my friends.

(Team Traffic Panthers: Greg, Gary, Mike, Mark, Susan, Chris, Patricia, Josh, Eric, Tom, Kevin, Dave, Dan and yours truly)

Final Team Times for the Inaugural Buck Fifty Relay Race. Thanks to all of the teams who participated with us this past weekend and we hope to see you next year on Friday April 13th 2018.

1 17:14:34 Appalachian Alpha Team
2 19:04:55 GoLBC
3 21:04:19 Mostly Above Average Ironmen
4 21:57:53 TYLER'S LIGHT
5 22:17:34 Chafing The Dream
6 22:49:19 Quixote Goes
7 22:51:03 Your Pace or Mine
8 23:07:45 Scioto River Ramblers
9 23:09:54 Got The Runs
10 23:40:46 Uhrig Financial
11 23:52:49 Superbad
12 23:58:30 Scioto Rangers
13 23:59:59 Better Last Than Never
14 24:06:14 Double Black Diamond Demons
15 24:08:11 Transplant Trail Blazers
16 24:08:30 X Factor
17 24:17:29 Born To Run #CBus
18 24:36:24 Traffic Panthers*****
19 24:36:42 Road Warriors
20 25:03:56 2 Slow to win, 2 dumb to quit
21 25:11:12 Misfits & Mommas
22 25:17:25 CRC Runners
23 25:25:15 Sole Mates
24 25:53:13 D.A.D.S.
25 26:12:19 Atomic Credit Union
26 26:15:15 get in the van, I have a plan
27 26:22:17 WTB
28 26:23:34 Anytime Fitness
29 26:46:26 Worst Pace Scenario
30 27:18:50 Huntington Huntsmen
31 27:57:41 Hardly Fast, Hardly Furious
32 27:57:41 Rucking Funners
33 27:57:41 Relay First Timers!
34 27:59:35 McKell's Marathoners
35 19:58:32 Chill Runners
36 D.N.F. Team Manimal
37 D.N.F. The Photo Bombers
38 D.N.F. Cops For Kids

The Buck Fifty 150 Mile, 24 Hour, 10 Person Relay

Step 1 - Do You Still Run? Part 1 Getting Started: COMPLETED

Step 2 - Do You Still Run? Part 2 Being Consistent, Make Progress: COMPLETED

Step 3 - Do You Still Run? Part 3 Increasing Mileage: COMPLETED

Step 4 - Do You Still Run? Part 4 Ho, Ho, Ho-ly Crap.

Step 5 - Do You Still Run? Part 5 Run (Not Bud) Wiser, Enjoy Your Craft (Beer)

Step 6 - Do You Still Run? Part 6 When Nature Attacks

Step 7 - Do You Still Run? Part 7: Find Your Pleasant State