That's Going To Leave a Mark...

Discussing taking time off for Russell's arrival evolved into getting a month to get situated with having a child and L was able to work out getting about three months. The last week prior to the birth included a baby shower put together by my coworkers for L & I and since L's maternity leave was underway she was able to take part in the mid-day Wednesday soiree. The festive decor included actual rocks (those used for library-related crafts) scattered around the plate of celebratory cookies. 

My paternity leave was to then begin at the end of this week, but an ice storm that Wednesday afternoon encased everything in ice and the snow storm the following day dumped about six inches on top - thus, closing the library Thursday & Friday. So my paternity leave began two days ahead of time. It was fun pounding away at the ice and snow to clear the driveway and free our cars from their ice cocoons on day one, then shoveling it all again the following day. If anything, our cats enjoyed the constant human interaction.

During the de-icing of our cars we came away with on unexpected benefit. A couple of years ago, frustrated after an argument (we don't remember what it was about) - L released her pent up negative energy by punching the backside of her car around the trunk area. Unfortunately, she hit it hard enough to leave a fist-sized dent. 

Five inches of snow, on top of an 

inch of ice.

Fast forward to the aftermath of the February 2022 ice storm, I'm banging on our cars just hard enough to break up the ice to allow for an easy removal. A couple of areas needed a few additional whacks and to our surprise one of those hits with a bit more mmmph actually popped out the dent left by L's iron fist way back when. Upon hearing this great news, L said she had only told her brother of how the dent occurred because she was embarrassed and had previously feigned ignorance when asked about it.

On Saturday, I squeezed in a 3.1 mile run to suffice the Break the Ice 5k virtual race. The in-person race takes place in South Haven, Michigan during the Ice Breaker Festival we have attended each year since 2019. Though we couldn't get there this year with the pregnancy just days away from completion, but signing up for the virtual race meant we would still get the coveted SWAG sent to us. I didn't run all that fast since the ice and snow made for less than stellar conditions, but it was nice to take part from afar. The full sun helped to defeat the near-single digit temps as well. #HShive #mettlemonday

Limoncello cookies,

chocolate biscotti 

& pizzelles

We then celebrated L's birthday by picking up some pastries I ordered from Old Man Ciacchi's Italian Bakery, a local couple who run a bakery from their home. I highly recommend the Limoncello cookies, but everything they make is excellent. This was then followed by breakfast at the Sunbury Grill as L had been craving a hearty breakfast without the whole "healthy" thing getting in the way. We spent the rest of the day at her parent's watching the Olympics and playing her brother's Civilization board game till midnight. On the way home, L teared-up a bit realizing the next time we visit her parents she - herself - would be a mom.

Despite being tired from the long Saturday, L didn't sleep well as Russell was moving all over the place. The movement was similar to when he turned the opposite direction the week before, but we think he was just getting excited or making sure his bags were packed for the upcoming change of scenery. The Sunday was also the arrival of several things we had ordered, or were sent to us, for the baby. One of those things may have been a Bengals onesie complete with beanie and bib - the poor boy has to be ready for the Super Bowl next weekend, right?!

We stayed up late, again, watching the Olympics Sunday night and were, again, greeted with blue sky & sunshine Monday morning. As L stayed in bed, I took care of the cats and wandered into Russell's room, gawking out the window into the backyard to see the sun bouncing off the snow, birds taking turns visiting the feeder as well as this past December's Christmas Tree lying just below it and a feisty red squirrel protecting it's territory by chasing away it's bushy, gray brethren. 

A portion of Russell's room

Sipping on a cup of coffee, I couldn't help but come to the realization this would be the last day we would NOT be parents. Looking around R.O.K.S' soon-to-be occupied room, I laugh at the fact I'm going to be a first-time dad at 46 and - holy crap - we really need to organize the piles of collected baby stuff & supplies lying in the crib. 

Making her way out of bed, L's to-do list starts with calling our landlord and inquiring as to why the rent on our duplex would be going up another 10% (just short of 20% total the last two years). Hearing the frustration in her voice, she was not happy with the answer of "this coincides with the recommendation of the independent appraiser we hired." Concisely & calmly giving the person on the other end of the line a piece of her mind, L then hangs up. Now angrily spouting how wrong this is to the atmosphere around her, I interrupt the diatribe with this is not the time to get herself cranked up.

Getting her to relax and focus more on the to-do list to prepare for tomorrow, we agree that once we are settled with having a baby to care for we would then begin the process of looking for a home to buy. This, of course, would be months from now but still a little disappointing that The Fermented Firefly would be changing locations a little sooner than we had hoped - but good things do have to come to an eventual end: "We'd get sick on too many cookies, but ever so much sicker on no cookies at all." ~ Sinclair Lewis

Headed out the door at 7am
to extract Russell.

We were up at 6am, the cats knew something was up as bags were stacked at the door, we loaded the car, took a deep breath, I downed a quick espresso and we drove the five minutes to Grady Memorial Hospital just as the sun was rising. The parking lot was relatively empty and so was the hospital itself, but when we were escorted to our room there as a parade of nurses, physicians and medical personnel. Pre-operation steps get underway, awakening the butterflies for the both of us, well-wishing text messages began to chime in and soon I found myself in scrubs from head-to-toe....this was really happening.

A description of what would take place from here on out was detailed, then a nervous L was wheeled to the operating room - leaving me pacing in the room by myself searching for some sort of sanity. Soon a nurse pokes her head in coaxing me to follow and into a small prep area outside of the operating room. I wait, again, as the time is almost there and when finally beckoned - L is displayed on a table, covered in sheets and surrounded by what seemed to be every medical professional in the building.

R.O.K.S - shaking his fist at me 
moments after birth.

I sit on a stool next to her head which is poking out from behind a sheet screen, grab her hand and the procedure begins. We are given details as to what is taking place during the procedure, shielded by the work itself. We make fun, nervous small talk as she tries to ignore the pushing, squeezing and pressure being issue to her lower half. Before we know it, were told he has been removed from his human cocoon. A quick glance over the sheet and I see a tiny, purply, wet alien-like person held above the table with his tissue tether dangling below him. He isn't crying much, but rather is making annoyed squeaks similar to those made by the angry squirrels that take over our backyard.

Then the waterworks begin, L is crying and I'm a complete mucusy mess. The boy is brought over to meet his mom for the first time, then is placed into the warmer for post-op screening. I'm staring threw the waterfall of tears at this little person with breech birth legs sticking straight up into the air, being poked and prodded by nurses. As the medical personnel disperses, this tiny hand grips my finger and these steely blue eyes glare back - likely wondering what the hell just took place.... I'm right there with you, brother.

For a lack of a better phrase, L is stitched back together and we - along with an awesome hospital staff - welcomed the 7 pounds, 7 ounces and 19 inches of Russell Orland Kidder Simpson to the world at 9:52am on Tuesday, February 8th. For this one day, if ever there was one, all was right with the world.

So here we are, the two of us has become three - ending an era and starting a whole new chapter with stories to tell, mistakes to make, discoveries to uncover and a family to administer. It's all hands (and paws) on deck, for C, L, R.O.K.S, Whiskey & Jameson are about to begin....

Weezer - Beginning Of The End

Knocking on my door they tell me it's time to go on
Last check in the mirror to see if anything's wrong
The writing's up on the wall
A warning shot to them all

My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared
My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared

Nostradamus predicted a bomb would drop
And all our guitars will be humming in old pawn shops
Watch us brush off the dust, in heavy metal we trust
Then kick back and read The Sunday Times

My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared

Fifteen hundred thousand years
Wouldn't be enough to dry these tears
I'll still be here hanging on, and on, and on
Things will never be the same
Save the pieces of your brain

My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared
My head is spinning, it's the beginning of the end
The people freak out when I walk out there, so scared

My boy, the Bengal fan!

Highly recommended!

Jameson & Whiskey chillin' in 

the sun, unaware of the

forthcoming human noise maker.

This race has the coolest

shirt designs

Russell's room, the owl

cutouts came from the

library baby shower.

Russell's woodland

theme is everywhere

Russell!

C, L & R

To Be Frank, I'm Not a Big Fan of Your Cervix

So 38 weeks, 8.7452 months, or 266 days - however you want to call it - you NOW DECIDE you want a change of plans?! We sure hope you understand the repercussions for last minute changes.

On L's most recent weekly check up, the doctor felt a hard lump at the top of L's baby bump - which isn't new, this is typically Russell's knee or foot poking at his human cocoon. Upon further inspection, the doctor wanted to be sure of what she was feeling and - utilizing an ultrasound - her thoughts were proved correct. It wasn't a knee or foot she was detecting, it was the top of Russell's head.

Apparently, ROKS had moved into the Frank Breech position (Not to be confused with former Bengals Kicker Jim Breech). Ideally, a baby is positioned so that the head is delivered first during a vaginal birth. In the breech position, a baby's rear-end or feet are located first in the uterus. For a Frank Breech baby, the buttocks are aimed at the vaginal canal with its legs sticking straight up in front of their body and the feet near their head. 

Not the ideal position you want your baby to be, especially if you are 36 weeks or further along, which we are. While at my work desk, L called to give me the less than spectacular news. Now, this only means the traditional vaginal birth is not likely and a C-section is the ideal form of delivery. This does nothing to indicate the health or status of the baby, but definitely not what we were expecting. Sounding a bit defeated on the phone, L and I would soon be meeting with the doctor to further detail the next steps.

Again, Russell is doing fine, but we truly were not looking toward a surgical procedure used to deliver a baby through incisions in the abdomen and uterus. For something to do I began reading up on breech babies and found a section titled, How can I flip my baby if it's breech? And let me tell you, it was rich:

* One is called the Bridge position which requires one to lie on the floor with their legs bent and your feet flat on the ground. You then raise your hips and pelvis into a bridge position. Hold this position for 10 or 15 minutes several times a day. I believe I've seen this in those Denise Austin fat-burning workouts. You used to see these played on ESPN in the wee hours of the morning, an apparent attempt reach a wider audience. Though, I believe that audience continued to be teenage and college-aged males...ehem...for "some" reason.

* Then there is the Child’s pose which has you rest in the child’s pose for 10 to 15 minutes. Apparently it can help relax your pelvic muscles and uterus. It is stated that you can also rock back and forth on your hands and knees or make circles with your pelvis to promote activity. In a sense, pretend you are an unruly child not getting what you want, so go limp and fall to the floor as if you are in full pout-till-they-cave-in mode. Though, they'd rather you not scream like a banshee as it might create additional complications (neighbors, police, misdemeanors, etc.)

* Music: Place headphones or a speaker at the bottom of your uterus to encourage your baby to turn. Instead of "go towards the light", go towards the sound of whatever crap your mother is pumping into the cavity between her bladder & rectum. Wouldn't this just want to make your child climb up into your diaphragm to get away from the obnoxious noise?

* Temperature: Try placing something cold at the top of your stomach where your baby’s head is. Then, place something warm at the bottom of your stomach. Yes, yes, yes....this has been used since colonial Massachusetts and - with any luck - will also dissolve the malignant supernatural powers related to the wiccan fetus inside.

Anyway, the C-section has been scheduled for February 8th which will be three days after L's birthday and six days before Valentine's Day. At least the boy will be doing me a favor by lumping all the special occasions within a week of each other (note to self: future Februarys will be busy). 

For my knowledge, L sent me a screen shot of her online medical information regarding the scheduling of the surgery. And I don't know about you, but do they really need to call their discussion a telephone "encounter"? I feel like they discussed the coming birth of ROKS through extraterrestrial means with the expectation of it taking place somewhere near Area 51. Though the boy will likely look alien like - preferably not like the one in the movie Alien - when he is extricated.

As we try to digest Russell's sudden change of how he'd like to exit his human incubator, we are experiencing some crazy cold times. Not that this doesn't happen regularly at this time of the year in our part of the country, but a few days have been a bit more extreme then we would prefer. And it makes it that much less fun to run, but it is something that must me done (alliteration is fun).

Since the short spat of illness last week, I have increased my liquid intake to make sure hydration is at it's peak and have cut back on some mileage to a level more associated with aerobic exercise than training. Thinking I had outfoxed mother nature's arctic blast by getting outside in the full sun last week and I was greeted with a temperature of two, yes, two degrees.

Now that is definitely cold, and it has been much colder in the past around here & elsewhere. Though it was just annoying that despite hand warmers in my gloves and dressed to where I could be mistaken for a Muppet, my sun glasses nearly completely fogged over, which then also froze. Meaning I was only lucky to have been running in an area familiar to me so as to avoid being pummeled by oncoming traffic or clotheslined by a tree branch. And my hands were cold, just not frozen. #HShive #mettlemonday

A little Lebowski is apparently on the way!

A super fun stat from this day, our unborn son's age was still a larger number than the windchill temp of -5. It is winter and it gets cold, sometimes REALLY cold, but the extended polar vortex is a bit much. The football gods did help offset the cold by giving my Cincinnati Bengals the wherewithal to avoid any major mistakes - or blunders -and turn the tables on the Chiefs to garner their third Super Bowl berth ever! I'm still in shock and haven't washed my Joe Burrow jersey since the season started. It is so cool that R.O.K.S' first football watching experience will be a Bengals/Rams Super Bowl in two weeks!

According to our birth app, Russell is the size of a bowling pin. Since we completed the baby room this past weekend, we at least know he will tie the room together. We are also told our baby's internal systems are good to go and, fun fact, his brain and lungs are the only major organs that continue to develop into childhood and beyond. Oh, and his vocal cords have fully developed so he can be ready to communicate with once born.

Finally, we are made aware that babies are known for their adorably huge heads, which are a result of all the brain power baby develops in utero. At this point your baby’s head has about the same circumference as their abdomen - hopefully Russ will grow out of this and not resemble a cartoon character throughout adulthood.

Assuming the procedure goes well & Russell doesn't change his mind - again - one week from today we will be the parents of an actual human, not just a pair cats who believe they are also human. It is exciting as well as daunting, but one can't try to pile years & years of what's to come into day one. Like a race, take it one mile at a time, focus on the task at hand and breathe.....

The Raconteurs – Steady, As She Goes

Find yourself a girl and settle down

Live a simple life in a quiet town

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes

Your friends have a shown a kink in the single life

You've had too much to think, now you need a wife

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Well, here we go again

You've found yourself a friend that knows you well

But no matter what you do

You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell

So steady as she goes

When you have completed what you thought you had to do

And your blood's depleted to the point of stable glue

Then you'll get along

And then you'll get along

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Well, here we go again

You've found yourself a friend that knows you well

But no matter what you do

You'll always feel as though you tripped and fell

So steady as she goes

Steady as she goes

Settle for a world, neither up or down

Sell it to the crowd that is gathered 'round

Settle for a girl, neither up or down

Sell it to the crowd that is gathered 'round

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

So steady as she goes (steady as she goes)

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes, are you steady now?

Steady as she goes

Russell, coming soon
in Technicolor!

L, about to burst. Deflation
scheduled for next week.

The first beer label I made for
our wedding in 2019, L's head
on an animated body

The second beer label for
our wedding, a work photo of 
me goofing off and a creepy
one of me outside of my then-apartment

Russell's beer labeled, bottled and ready for his
arrival. To be cracked up on February 8th!

The label made for Russell's arrival. The
background is a photo I took from the
South Haven, Michigan pier on Jan. 30 of 2020.

My mom, sister, brother-in-law, nieces & 
nephew paid us a visit following my 
nephew's basketball game.

My Bengals, led by a fellow Southeast Ohio 
native, are off to another Super Bowl!

You've Got *Unborn* Mail

At one time or another we've all received mail addressed to us with a misspelling of our name or even a butchered phonetic version of what appears on our state issued ID. For example, I received some Victoria's Secret junk mail this week addressed with my middle name as my first name followed by the correct last name. My first name didn't appear anywhere on this piece of physical mail spam and I have never used my middle for anything other than what it is, how?

It was very odd, though there were some excellent "classy" photos of barely-there undergarments being modeled by stereotypical looking women for me to peruse through before sending it to it's recycling bin home in the carport. Maybe the squirrels will find it just as entertaining.

For other mail, there comes surprises. The day after receiving the mail addressed to a nonexistent version of me, we received a package addressed to myself, L and Russell! The first piece of mail received with our son's name on it. The text sent by L consisted of a photo of the label with the message, "It's like he's a real person!!" 

The package had contents to help add to the organization of the baby room, which has been fun and one can't help but wonder if Russ would approve of where things are located and how it's decorated. Even the cats have been spending time snooping around and curiously wondering what will soon be taking place.

Once L putting the crib together, she wondered what we should do regarding the possibility the cats (Whiskey & Jameson) getting in to it. For awhile there wasn't a worry as they saw it as something taking up space and avoided it. Then about two weeks ago I hear L yell, "Jameson!", which was followed by a thud and then an orange blur leaving Russell's room and darting down the basement steps.

This will be posted for our cats shortly. We're giving you
fair warning Whiskey & Jameson.

The fat orange cat (nicknamed: chunka-chunk) was discovered curled up in the crib asleep. Typically, this would be worrisome, but some key factors are in play. One, he was asleep on a blanket he prefers and this is something that will not be in the crib once Russell arrives. It was simply a temporary holding place. 

Secondly, both of the cats freak out at the slightest noise and I can't imagine them hanging out in a room where the equivalent of a drunken smoke alarm getting false positives from alcohol-fueled dreams breaks the silence every hour. And, Yes, I did just compare our unborn son to a Schizophrenic warning system (Sorry, Russ, but you gonna be loud & lots of things will irritate you. My apologies). 

L's pregnancy, which had been relatively uneventful, now seems to be testing her with the "you thought this was going to be easy, didn't you" stage. A stomach bug clobbered her for about two days this past week, leaving her unable to go to work, inhaling liquids and sleeping (or attempting to sleep). Of course, carrying a fetus at 37 weeks compounded the process of ridding her system of said bug.

The first night she was tossing around and visiting the restroom so frequently that I was unable to rest. I moved to the sofa in the front room, but since it is more/less a love seat - my six-foot-three frame couldn't get comfortable. I ended up curled up on the floor, drifting in and out of sleep till my work alarm went off. It wasn't a fun night for me, I can't imagine the enjoyment L dealt with.

Tuesday Night Ice Ninjas: Gary, Ken and yours truly.

The Tuesday night meetup with Gary & Ken for a run, wings & beer at Buffalo Wild Wings usually ends with me garnering something to take home to L. This week, instead of food from b-dubs, it was Gatorade and dry cereal from the nearby supermarket. The run on this night was cold, icy and windy - making it less than fun. Jokingly, Gary said the ice was a blessing as it forced us to slow down for an easy pace as he goes about covering Delaware City streets for his CityStrides and kept him from having to keep up with my usual 6 minute mile pace. Though, he still has awhile to go to catch me in Delaware as I have covered 405 of 633 streets for just under 64%. He may have me elsewhere, but this is my town...for the time being anyway. #HShive #mettlemonday

L is in good spirts as the
time gets closer

Thursday morning wasn't fun, woke up feeling dead tired with my back feeling like I had been in car accident. From the base of my skull to my tailbone, I was sore & achy - making it hard to move around. It was weird...no head cold, no chest congestion, no stomach issues, just worn out & sore. This forced taking two days off from work and kept me from taking part in Saturday's Fantastic Frigid 5k Race #2. Then just like that, it all wore off and I was back to normal again. I even went to get tested to make sure I didn't have some backwards form of COVID, but that came up negative...craziness.

On one of the days when I was at home hung up with whatever it was, L grabbed a few things at the grocery store she thought would help ease my discomfort. Then she sends me this text, "Seeing a lady wiping her produce with Lysol wipes....that poor red onion has no outer layer skin anymore." This made me laugh, but then my curiosity got the better of me (*I was a little bored*) and I found this on the Lysol Products website: 

"Lysol disinfecting and cleaning products are for surfaces and not for personal use. They cannot be used on the body or on food and always should be used as directed."  

Some people make my brain hurt.

Preparing for a Bengals win
with Jameson & Whiskey

Anyway, what made the weekend a bit more tolerable was watching my Bengals return to the AFC Championship Game for the first time since 1988, that's 34 years! Even L, a Steelers fan, was excited. It was like my childhood showed up for a couple of hours to say "hi" as it was passing through. How significant was the playoff win over the Titans? I received several congratulator texts, including one from the mom of a girl I dated in college! Yeah, it has been a long time for the Cincinnati fans and everybody knows it.

One of L's favorite things to eat as of late has been grapefruit. She eats them in a way I've never seen. She scarfs them down like one peels & eats an orange, then scavenges to get every piece of pulp off the rind. She laughs and says this is just how she has always eaten them, but it reminds me of how I would imagine a Chupacabra would go about devouring a goat or lamb gone astray. Surprisingly, she hasn't nipped a finger or two with the way she attacks the citrus and at least we know Russell will be well protected against Scurvy.

So, we about three weeks (THREE WEEKS!) away from R.O.K.S making his debut! And according to our birthing app, we are 37 weeks and he is the size of a Pound Puppy! If you don't remember (I do, my sister had one), these were plush stuffed dog dolls with floppy ears and droopy eyes. They came in a variety of colors, some with spots. Hopefully, our son will arrive spot-free. And finally, we have wandered away from the food related references to the size of our future child.

The app also states our baby is nearing their due date, which means that they could arrive any time now. But until then, they’ll continue putting the finishing touches on their development.

Speaking of, the most recent check-up for L show's ROKS' heartbeat inching closer to the target rate for birth, his head is down and he is facing her backside. And he is officially dropping - just like we have noticed - to get to the best place for turning prior to birth. Oh, and a test of the beer made for Russell's arrival has proven it to be a successful venture, slightly sweet up front, then dry and hoppy on the backend - tasty and refreshing! 

So everything is on par, even ahead of time, and it is setting up like it should....yeah, it will not always be a walk in the park - but at least we can imagine it to be...three weeks till parenthood...

Blur - Parklife

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as (Parklife!)

And morning soup can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as (Parklife!)

John's got brewer's droop, he gets intimidated by the dirty pigeons, they love a bit of it (Parklife!)

Who's that gut lord marching? You should cut down on your pork life mate, get some exercise

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

Know what I mean?

I get up when I want, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen (Parklife!)

I put my trousers on, have a cup of tea and I think about leaving me house (Parklife!)

I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too, it gives me a sense of enormous well-being (Parklife!)

And then I'm happy for the rest of the day, safe in the knowledge there will always be a bit of my heart devoted to it

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

Parklife (Parklife!)

Parklife (Parklife!)

It's got nothing to do with your Vorsprung durch Technik, you know

Parklife (Parklife!)

And it's not about you joggers who go 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round and 'round

Parklife (Parklife!)

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

All the people

So many people

And they all go hand in hand

Hand in hand through their parklife

Jameson & Whiskey, enjoying the current silence.

Photuris, Photinus, Pupa - 
The Russell beer at
The Fermented Firefly

Snow hike Sunday w/ L

Looking like death warmed
over during the sickness. 
At least Jameson could relax.

Trogdor, the Dragon Fetus

On a midweek off day I officially took down our Christmas tree (we removed the ornaments and such days ago) and removed the remaining holiday lights adorning our house. The recent "warm up" to the 30's allowed for being outside for more than just a quick run and felt like spring compared to what we have had here lately.

Trogdor, sketeched by a former
coworker about 7-years ago
and still on my office
computer. Thanks Joel!

Yes, the holidays are over but our biggest present of all will be coming shortly. As for L, I'm sure she is just as excited for the baby's arrival as she is to be free from new aches, pains, bodily functions and constant gymnastics taking place in the womb. Some days she gets around the house like a patient in the triage unit and it makes you wonder how something so small could be creating that much of a ruckus. Is there actually a baby in there or some alien being festering inside? We are pretty sure it's a baby and not Trogdor from those old Strong Bad Email videos from homestarrunner.com. Either way, we don't have any thatched-roof cottages nearby we would have to worry about being burnt to the ground. So, yeah, we're good.

Keeping L's mind of off baby Russell's ramped up preparation for exiting his human incubator is getting tougher, so we have been finding other things for her to focus on. She does walk a mile or so around our neighborhood on a daily basis and spending time arranging the baby's room has been helpful. Once home from work we have been binging on episodes of "The Office" to keep both of us on a more even keel.

 
Sometimes the commercials between those episodes add some unexpected comfort. We had a good, stupid laugh at a cat litter advertisement as this woman was stressing how bad her pet's litter boxed smelled and was at a loss as to what she could do to correct it. I commented her problem wasn't the general odor, but the holding it up to her face like she was presenting a freakin' plate of lasagna for the family dinner table. If I shoved my head in the toilet, I - too - would probably complain about the smell!

Yeah, it's the little things that can get us going.

Oh, and that same night L felt Russell making odd movements and laughed when she realized he had the hiccups. Though she felt it much more since it was happening inside of her, I was able to faintly feel them myself after placing my hand on her stomach. One of the causes for hiccups is sudden excitement, maybe he, too, thought the cat litter comment was hilarious (that's my boy!). Also, did you know the medical term for hiccups is singultus - weird.

On Tuesdays, when I don't work the evening, I have been meeting up with running (and beer) friends Gary & Ken to squeeze in five miles or so. We start and finish in the parking lot of Buffalo Wild & Wings with the finish consisting of post run wings and a couple of beers. This past week, I was surprised with a gift from Gary and his family. It's a copy of the book "Goodnight Brew", a parody on the book "Goodnight Moon".

L's Funfetti cake, complete
with firefly decorations

Instead of a 'picture book' it is described as a 'pitcher book' for grown-ups, a besotted bedtime story for beer lovers everywhere. You follow the crew of animals as they close down for the evening and say goodnight to the brew kettle, barley and yeast, hops and mash, saison, porter, IPA, and more. Obviously, a tongue-in-cheek thing, but the last few pages do have brew infographics that follow the story. It may come in handy, in more way than one, in the near future. 

This coming weekend is race #2 of the Fantastic Frigid 5k Series and if all goes as planned, I should be able to take part. Race #1 ended up being on the same day as the birthing class two weeks ago and I had to miss it. It isn't expected to be as cold as the first one and I'm looking forward to a trail course as the asphalt can get monotonous at times. #HShive #mettlemonday @honeystinger 

At her place of work, L's coworkers had a baby shower for her. When asked what kind of cake she would like to have, L was proud to say - with the full confidence of a proud, adult woman - that she wanted a Funfetti cake. If you don't know, this is a white or yellow cake with rainbow colored sprinkles baked into the batter. When baked, the sprinkles melt into dots of bright color that resemble confetti or in this case "Funfetti". 

Sunday Night's snow walk, L 
& Pupa Russell standing
 under the street light

The targeted demographic is, of course, children, but I guess one can get a pass if you are about to have a child as well. And the piece L had, of course, did have one of the fireflies on it. Just paying tribute to the logo she created for The Fermented Firefly. And she brought home a piece for me...and it was delicious. #HShive #mettlemonday

This past weekend saw my Cincinnati Bengals end a 31-year drought by winning a playoff game and did it with a fellow Southeast Ohio native in young superstar Joe Burrow. At the same time, L's Steelers lost in what is likely Northwest Ohio native Ben Roethlisberger's last game after 18 years. A bit of a weird contrast taking place on the same weekend for the both of our teams.  And we also had the first significant snowfall of the season, something we enjoy and typically results in a night walk around our neighborhood.

The long Martin Luther King, Jr. Day holiday weekend ended Monday with the library where I work taking part in an event hosting Author Nic Stone and ending with a book signing at the library. I came away with a book signed by her for Russell and she used his ROKS initials after inquiring about the name we settled on. She also thought it was insane for anyone to run outside in the wintery weather, but since she lives in Georgia, she doesn't enjoy cold weather in general anyway. A couple of photos of what she wrote can be found below.

We are at 36 weeks and according to the birthing app, Russell is now the size of a bag of Bugles, so we at least know he's tasty (note to self: DO NOT EAT THE BABY). Another food related reference, this app knows us way to well. 

We are also told his blood circulation is fully up and running now. And at around 36 weeks or later, your baby drops from around your rib cage to closer to your pelvis. Aha! Russell did that in the last week, he's ahead of the game! I believe L is proud to know our boy is a leader and not a follower, as well as a corn snack.

So 28 days, 4 weeks or one month - however you break it down - that is what the birthing encyclopedia indicates regarding the time we have until Russell's arrival. Though experiencing L's recent reactions to his increased movement, Russell apparently has his bags packed and is just waiting for the early train to leave the station. 

Patience, Trogdor...uh...I mean, Russell...patience...we still have some corn snacks to finish off...

Tanlines - Brothers

Minimal big mistakes, and the last one:
In the car or the store, you didn't ask for it
Take your time, take the place, and react
Does it in my mind set the pace?

And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them

Take a chance, make a choice, you couldn't not look
Indecision overload is only chance figures
Change my mind, make mistakes, and put it past them
Raise the bar, set the course

And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them

You're just the same as you ever were
You fighting, no wonder why it makes no sense
I'm just the same as I ever been,
But I'm the only one who doesn't notice it

See me through the front porch
Sure, I want more
Off the cuff, doesn't measure
Got a front door
Take the stairs, make mistakes
Just make up for them
On the spot, don't pretend

And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them
And rewind to them

You're just the same as you ever were
You fighting, no wonder why it makes no sense
I'm just the same as I ever been,
But I'm the only one who doesn't notice it

Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey
Yeah, yeah ah hey

You're just the same as you ever were
You're just the same as you ever were
You're just the same as you ever were
You're just the same as you ever were

A slice of L's funfetti cake.

The back cover of "Goodnight Brew".

The front & back inscription from Author 
Nic Stone

Don't Mind Me, Just Passing Through the Pelvis

If ever we needed additional preparation for our forthcoming child, this past week definitely put us through the ringer. 

On Wednesday we sat through a two-hour webinar after work on nursing & breast feeding which was interesting to a point. Though I did find myself nodding off for a moment or two a few times, it didn't help that the gray cat (Whiskey) was curled up asleep and purring away in my lap. Jokingly, L wondered why I wasn't interested in seeing all the boobs. There were a lot of boobs....A LOT of boobs. Afterwards, I had to find the energy to squeeze in a five mile run in the dark, arctic night. The run was the easy part. It was the waking myself up to brave the initial blast of the single digit temps that made it difficult.

Fun with birthing class

Then on Saturday, we spent six hours at Dublin Methodist attending a birthing class. We joined two other couples who are also expecting in February. Maybe it was the standard dress for a cold, January Saturday morning, but we three fathers-to-be were all wearing jeans and a hoodie. Again, we encountered plenty of welcomed advice and tips which were greatly appreciated. Among the educational pieces were a number of videos that entailed gobs of valuable information, but also generated images we wish we didn't have to see...several times.

Remember The Office episode when Michael walked into the delivery room where Pam was giving birth and immediately exited with the phrase, "Gotta go wash my eyes." Yeah, imagine that, but about 20 or so times. On the drive home, L was trying to come up with an explanation for some of the things we saw and asked, "Do I look like that?" I was happy to tell her - and truthfully - no, no you do not. It was, however, pretty satisfying to watch the parents in the videos welcoming their newborns into the world and we couldn't help imagine what it would be like for us in the next month or so.

The birthing class nurse did remind us that the moms need to focus on getting rest and this is where I gave L the stink eye because this is something I tell her constantly. Though, Sunday did us no favors. Her Steelers needed to win to give themselves a shot at the playoffs and they did, but with a field goal in overtime which caused some unwanted stress for her. For Pittsburgh to officially make the playoffs, the Sunday night game between the Raiders and Chargers could not end in a tie - which rarely happens.

Photuris, Photinus, Pupa Pale x 3
at The Fermented Firefly

Despite having a 15 point lead with less than 5 minutes to go, the Chargers scored twice (and added a 2pt conversion) with the second touchdown coming as time expired to send it to overtime. L is now cursing and yelling at anyone to score. It was an out-of-body experience to hear her beg for whomever had the ball to score a touchdown and/or throw a pick-six, and for either defense to strip, scoop & score - ALL AT THE SAME TIME. She didn't care just somebody score some damn points! 

As you can imagine, it came down to the Raiders kicking a field goal with two seconds left in overtime to have the game NOT end in a tie. So much for rest, we went to bed near 1am with work coming just a handful of hours later - but Pittsburgh is in the playoffs....somehow. My Bengals will now get to host the Raiders in their playoff game next weekend, me thinks I'm now jinxed.

All of this as I attempt to complete Columbus Running Company's Inspire Columbus Winter Challenge. It is a commitment to yourself to run or walk at least one mile outdoors every day in January. You log your miles and have opportunities to win prizes along the way. 

Sounds like an easy thing to do, but forcing yourself to squeeze in a few miles each day with less than human weather going on and mostly in the dark (usually an after work thing for me) is a testament to one's will and desire. I'm used to taking at least two days off each week during the rest of the year, so in order to keep from going overboard on this challenge I try to replace the off days with short jaunts. So far, so good on my end but the recent super cold spell is making it tougher to get started each day.

35 weeks & baby is the size of a lean, mean,
fat reducing, grilling machine

I had signed up for the Fantastic Frigid 5k Series, but race #1 ended up being on the same day as the birthing class. I did pick up a pretty cool event shirt, but race #2 will take place on January 22nd of which I should be able to take part. These are apart of the larger, inaugural, RunColumbus Race Series, a year-long series of races in Central Ohio where you earn points with each completed event and battle for age group titles and such. We will see how many I will be able to take part in as the year progresses. #MettleMonday 

Also on Saturday, I bottled the beer I created for the arrival of Russell. And to our delight, it looks, smells and tastes as I had hoped. It should be ready to pop open when our son decides to grace us with his presence. And it will be nice to have some substance to go along with the fun label created for the occasion here at The Fermented Firefly.

So according to the baby app we use, the boy's arrival is expected in about 5 weeks - give or take - and is the size of your standard George Foreman Grill. It has become real enough that L has a hospital bag or two packed and ready to go on a moments notice, so the butterflies are in full force. I don't think anyone is ever expertly prepared for having a child, but I think we are prepared enough that the unexpected is our expectation. We are ready to not be ready for the smoothest, bumpy ride (or the bumpiest, smooth ride) imaginable. 

R.O.K.S is preparing to land, T-minus 35 days, or so, and counting....

Michael Buble -A Foggy Day in London Town

A foggy day in London Town

Had me low and had me down

I viewed the morning with alarm

The British Museum had lost its charm

How long, I wondered, could this thing last?

But the age of miracles hadn't passed,

For, suddenly, I saw you there

And through foggy London Town

The sun was shining everywhere.

A foggy day in London Town

Had me low and had me down

I viewed the morning with alarm

The British Museum had lost its charm

How long, I wondered, could this thing last?

But the age of miracles hadn't passed,

For, suddenly, I saw you there

And through foggy London Town

The sun was shining everywhere.